Here's the completed and VERY unofficial glossary for A MATTER OF REVENGE. ENJOY! (and don't take it too seriously)

Following this AMOR glossary is the one for UNDER CLOAK OF DARKNESS in all its irreverant glory.



A LA MORT SUBITE: A famed café and tavern in Brussels, it not only has my all-time favorite café name (does it get any better than "To the Sudden Death"?) but also serves one of my favorite beer styles in the world, Kriek Lambic and Framboise Lambic. I cannot state this strongly enough: there is NO ONE in this world that does not like the taste of a good Framboise Lambic beer. Men, women, oeniphiles, beer-heads, wastoids, dweebs--they all love it (my apologies to FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF). Regardless, a rather whimsical and deadly episode occurs there at the end of REVENGE which I must admit does, in some ways, remind one of Bilbo Baggins' going-away party at the start of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I didn't intend it to make it that way, but there you have it all the same.

AGENT "D": British-American liaison to the Director, replacing Agent J. Son of a British WWI war-bride and American dough-boy, D left the British SIS somewhat in disgrace after being--unfairly--implicated in the "Cicero" spy affair in Turkey in late WWII. Demoted, working in the late forties in a dull Whitehall office, he was recruited by the Director to work as the SIS liaison for his new Superagent agency. When J died, D replaced him and becomes one of Apparite's closest friends in the future.

ALEXANDERPLATZ: Famed square in East Berlin, it was a common pre-war meeting place. A rendezvous at "Alex" was universal before going out on the town in Berlin, since most of the cultural centers--the Staatsoper, symphony, theaters, cabarets, museums, shops etc--were in that part of the city (it even inspired a novel titled, simply, BERLIN ALEXANDERPLATZ). The division and then the Wall heralded the completion of the decline of "Alex" as a center of Berlin social life, following that of the Unter den Linden and the Potsdamerplatz, both of which were never the same after the city was divided after WWII.

ALLEN, MEL: Famed "Voice of the hated Yankees" for decades, who also hosted a weekly syndicated national TV baseball show for years, Allen's signature call was to punctuate a great play with the words, "HOW about that?!" He was one of the truly memorable, great radio broadcasters who, along with Red Barber of the Brooklyn Dodgers, Ernie Harwell of the Tigers, Jack Buck of the Cardinals, and Russ Hodges of the Giants, brought baseball to the radio masses in the 40's and 50's. Harry Caray belongs in there, too, though he jumped around so much before settling with the Cubs that I wasn't sure where to put him, unless it was in a bar. I wanted to add Chuck Thompson of my beloved Orioles (and Colts), but I think he came along a little late for inclusion with this group of greats, as did Vin Scully.

ANTIDOTE: To start with, this must be differentiated from the word "anecdote," which is a short tale, often humorous, as opposed to "antidote," which is the treatment to reverse the effects of a poison. In fact, some "anecdotes" seem to require "antidotes" of their own, depending on the teller, but enough on that. The most well-known antidote is probably snake "anti-venom" for the snake bite of a viper, though others exist, such as methylene blue for cyanide poisoning, atropine for any number of chemical exposures, and so on. Ideally, a poison used for assassination purposes would have no antidote, rendering the chance of death near 100%. To my knowledge, there is no antidote to tetrodotoxin, the poison used by Apparite in AMOR. There is also no antidote to the comedy of Robin Williams, deadly in its own right.

ARNOUX, LOUIS: Alias available for Apparite to use if he ever needs to impersonate a Frenchman. Along with a Passport with the aliases' name on it, Apparite was also issued a standard driver's license for that aliases' home nation, a tax-identification card, a military service card, and forged letters and other documents that would bolster the ruse. The name "Arnoux" might be known to followers of Formula One racing by the French Renault driver Rene Arnoux, famous for "blocking" faster drivers in the latter stages of his career whilst racing for the Ligier team.

AUSTRALIAN BLUE-RINGED OCTOPUS: Small sea creature that carries enough poison to kill over two dozen men, used by the Director to create his agency's concentrated and deadly version of "tetrodotoxin" for assassination purposes. Only the size of a chicken's egg(!) this beautifully-colored octopus carries one of the deadliest poisons in nature, shared with divers other creatures, including species of snails, frogs, worms, and puffer fish. Interestingly, it only shows its colors, strikingly pretty blues and yellows, when it is threatened and about to strike. If you are 'Down Under' and see one nearby, get the hell away, ASAP! Then again, you could also get killed by deadly Aussie jellyfish or sea snakes or their famous Great White Sharks, so maybe you'd best stay out of the water altogether. Come to think of it, perhaps there was a reason the British initially sent convicts down there! Australia is home to a bunch of the world's deadliest creatures, not the least among them 'Men at Work.'

BATTLE OF THE BULGE: This was Hitler's last gasp in WWII, a surprise attack in mid-December 1944 in an effort to push up to Antwerp and disrupt the Allis supply lines, divide their armies, and in general stall the Allied advance into Germany. Whilst meeting with initial success, Hitler in essence "burned out" his troop reserve in the offensive and in some ways actually made it easier for the Allies to cross the Rhine and enter Germany when the Bulge ended in early 1945. Of all of the battles of WWII, the Bulge has probably generated the most stories, anecdotes, and films for many reasons: a surprise attack; winter weather including fog, snow, and slop; surrounded Divisions; quotable quotes ("Nuts!"); Gen. George Patton's finest hour; the Malmedy Massacre; and so on.

BATTLE FOR BERLIN: Until the excellent recent German film DOWNFALL came along, this was the greatest battle of WWII that had not yet been turned into film. In some ways, it still hasn't, since DOWNFALL really doesn't look at it from both sides, concentrating mainly on Hitler's bunker. But WHAT a great film this epic battle would make! You've got the Berliners, surviving as best they can but still brewing beer, still operating their opera and orchestra, still delivering milk. You've got the Soviets pushing over the Oder from the East, and the Allies racing--and I literally mean RACING!--through Germany from the West. You've got Hitler's last stand in the bunker, the Berlin Orchestra's symbolic playing of Wagner's tragic GOTTERDAMMERUNG before secretly escaping WITH THEIR INSTRUMENTS after their farewell performance. You've got escaped zoo animals, a ten-thousand artillery piece Soviet barrage before the crossing of the Oder, Patton peeing off a make-shift bridge into the Rhine to motivate his troops, plus the first cautious, curious meeting of American and Soviet troops across a river in Germany. C'mon! How come no one's made THIS movie? What the hell are they waiting for?

BELGIAN "FRITES": The French didn't invent French Fries; in fact, it's the Belgians who perfected the seemingly--deceptively--simple art of slicing potatoes and frying them in oil (English "chips" are almost as legendary). But the best part of Belgian "Frites" are how they are eaten: always with mayonnaise--NOT ketchup! If you have never tried this, you simply must. I swear, they're ten times as good, if not ten times less healthy that way. Add a little malt vinegar and you'll think you're in heaven. Another option that's unusually tasty is tartar sauce--trust me, it's great.

BERGMANN, INGRID: Fresh-faced Swedish beauty of the silver screen, Bergmann's natural grace and pleasant good-looks are what come to mind when Apparite first meets Christiane Grunbach. Bergmann's first hit was in the film GASLIGHT (which was made twice, I recall: once in a foreign language, then soon after in English), though her greatest hit--and one of the best films ever made--is CASABLANCA. She continued to make quality films into her sixties and seventies (she won an Oscar for the vastly over-rated mess that is MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS), eventually dying of cancer at an advanced age. She was one of the most relaxed, naturalistic actors in memory--one NEVER catches her "acting." Her daughter, Isabella Rossellini, is in one of my favorite bizarre films of all-time, BLUE VELVET.

BERLIN WALL: The Wall was raised in the early 1960's over the course of a few years, though the West was caught rather off-guard when the junior version--closed check-points, barricades, etc--suddenly appeared on August 13, 1961. When completed, it was almost 100 miles long, with the East-West Berlin division being about 26 miles in length. Fortified, guarded by apparently moral-lacking lackeys, it is thought that at least 135 persons died attempting to cross over, under, or through the border. In modern times, it is still incomprehensible to me how the Western world allowed this to occur, or how those Germans in power in the East could look themselves in the mirror every morning knowing they supported, essentially, turning an entire city (and then country) into one giant prison. The Wall fell in 1989 after a bungling of East German politicians gave the citizens of East Berlin the idea that, hey, you can just go to a check-point and cross right over any time you want! When tens of thousands of them suddenly appeared at the border on November 9, 1989, it basically sealed the Wall's fate. They crossed, the Vopos refused or were too scared to stop them, and the Wall was history.

BERLINER-WEISSE beer: Wheat beers are a summer treat for hot weather. Tart, bracing, delicious with a slice of lemon, there are great examples from Germany and the U.S. for anyone curious: Ayinger, Hacker-Pschorr, Spaten Franziskaner, and others from Germany; and from the U.S., the hefe-weizen from Wisconsin's Capital Brewing Co. cannot be beat (though Michelob brews a surprisingly tremendous hefe-weizen itself--I'm serious!). But the grand-daddy of them all is Berliner Weisse. Tarter, more bracing, and less-used friendly than the others, Berliner Weisse beers are often tempered by sweeteners in the form of woodruff syrup or raspberry syrup. Rumor has it that during the Wall days, that the East had the superior Weisse beers and the West the superior Pils. All I can say is, well, I'll never know NOW! Anyway, nothing beats a tall, cool glass of wheat beer on a hot summer night.

BRANDENBURG GATE: The symbol of Berlin, the famous victory Gate was unfortunately located RIGHT on the West-East Berlin border, and when the Wall went up, access to the Gate went phhhffft! After WWII, the Soviets even had the temerity to even put a red communist flag on top of it instead of the famous Quadriga statue, since the Gate technically was in their sector and they figured they could do anything they wanted. Now, however, things have been restored the way they should be: Quadriga, public access, and no Wall.

BROOKLYN DODGERS: Honest to God, I can't really remember why this is on my glossary-to-do list. Is it because Apparite mentions the Bobby Thomson home run against Dodger pitcher Ralph Branca? I don't know. All I know is that the Dodgers are NOT in Brooklyn because of the tyrannical city planner for NYC in those days, and not because of Walter O'Malley. O'Malley WANTED to keep them in Brooklyn, but this idiot commissioner would not allow train access to the proposed stadium site. Well, that's all I wanted to say.

C-47 "DAKOTA": To my mind, the C-47 may be the most influential and important aircraft ever made. In peace-time, it was known as the DC-3, and helped bring air passenger service to the masses. In war-time, it functioned as transport for men, as in the D-Day and Market-Garden paratroop drops, or could haul cargo over many leagues of land, like in Burma/India during the war. It was durable, easy to fly, adaptable, and--amazingly--still in use today in some parts of the world.

CAFE FALKE: The "Eagle Café" was named after the symbol of the city of Berlin, and was situated near the Alexanderplatz. Its locale made it popular as a place for rendezvous, as demonstrated by Apparite and Christiane, who used it as such on two separate occasions. The old building had survived much, including the battle of Berlin, but eventually died from "urban renewal" in the nineties after the Wall fell. Sadly, such is the fate of many old pubs and cafes in Europe, but especially so in England, where pubs are dying at an alarming rate. Going out for good drink and conversation, once an essential fabric of one's local society, seems to be dying out for anyone under the age of thirty these days. I guess people are just watching television, instead.

CEMETERY OF THE ARDENNES: The whole U.S. military cemetery thing is quite interesting, when one learns about it. The first thing to know is that the U.S. military does NOT want any dead American soldiers buried in enemy territory, or basically even in foreign territory. The Army's "Graves Registration Service" is in charge of this--and what a difficult and sometimes horrifying process it is!

First of all, you have to find the graves of any dead American soldiers, even those buried in the middle of East Nowhere during a battle. Then you DIG THEM UP (!), which you can imagine is a pretty horrible experience, document them, and then find a place to bury them. Well, there were thousands of dead Americans scattered all over Europe after WWII, and there would be no way to bring them all back to the U.S., so what does one do?

Well, if you can't bring the soldiers to the U.S., you take the U.S. to the soldiers! Cemeteries like those in the Ardennes, or at Normandy, in Luxembourg, or in England, are considered to be basically American soil. I'm not sure how official it is--meaning that I doubt an American on-the-run could take refuge from local authorities there-but it's official enough that the military has the right to be there and patrol there, and such. At the American Cemetery of the Ardennes, you'll find thousands of brave, dead Americans who perished liberating Europe, including John Apparite's father, E---- K------- (George Patton, for the curious, is buried in the cemetery in Luxembourg). Any cemetery like this, with those endless rows of markers stretching almost to the horizon, really brings out the emotions. It's almost overwhelming (I've seen the French WWI cemetery at Verdun, and will never forget it). If you are ever in one, remind yourself that each and every marker represents the hopes and dreams of a young person that vanished in an instant. It represents the loss and mourning of an entire family, or town. And then try not to shed a tear. It's almost impossible.

COLT M1911 "MINI"-PISTOL: The 1911 has been the old reliable, classic pistol of the U.S. military for years, warranting even a mention in the modern spy-thriller film, RONIN (my favorite spy film, actually). Still, it's not a small weapon, and I wanted Apparite to have a mini-pistol that he could conceal and yet would not be a piece of crap like the infamous Derringer. So, I figured, what would the Director have done to make this come about? Well, a pragmatic guy like him wouldn't want to re-invent the wheel, so to speak, so instead, I imagined him shrinking EVERY component of the M1911 down to about half size--including the bullets--and paying someone an exorbitant fee to build a few of them. Voila! A fully functional mini-pistol, derived from a tried-and-true design, reliable and effective at close range. Thinking this stuff up ain't exactly rocket science, you know!

CREME-BRULEE: A classic French dessert that's really quite simple. It's basically just a baked custard, but what makes it special is the finish: you take a little tiny blowtorch, and caramelize the sugars on top into a little crusty top-coat. Simple but delicious. You can do variations on the theme--flavor the custard, put nuts on top, layer something else, like chocolate, on the bottom--but it's that crusty, sweet top that everyone REALLY wants. If I could invent a way to get that crust going on BOTH sides, I could retire to the Riviera today.

CURRY-WURST: A famed Berlin-born fast-food, found often at the stands of street-vendors, it was invented after WWII and soon became a regional sensation. Here's a recipe I found: Simmer frankfurters in tomato sauce that's been spiced with a little cayenne or paprika. Place a frankfurter on a plate, slice it, sprinkle curry powder and paprika on top, and then top the whole smear with tomato sauce. Usually eaten with fries, my version in REVENGE is served with black bread, since black bread was about all one could get in East Berlin at the time. In essence, this is simply a hot dog with ketchup plus a little curry powder. I think I'm going to make one as soon as I get home tonight.

CYANIDE: A widely available chemical compound occurring in multiple natural sources (apples, almonds, various fungi, and so on), it has often been used to commit suicide, including those of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun. A cyanide victim suffers seizures and gasps for breath, and usually dies quickly. The hyper-binding of hemoglobin in a cyanide poisoning turns the victim red, and I'm told they remain so for some time. However, in the case of SS Captain Heydrich in AMOR, there were impurities in his cyanide capsule that lengthened (and worsened) his demise, and that did not prolong the redness of his skin (he turned blue and grey shortly after the redness had worn off). Apparently, quality control for Soviet-issued cyanide ampules was a bit lacking at the time.

DACHAU: Most Americans are under the mistaken belief that we liberated Auschwitz (including Barack Obama, apparently), when in reality the U.S. liberated Dachau, and brought the horrors of Nazi concentration camps to the Western world. Interestingly, Dachau is thought to be a quite pretty and quaint little town, contrasting with the horror-show of the camp that sat outside it. After the war, a little bit of revenge was taken on some SS men by having their post-war war crimes trial at Dachau, the "scene of the crime" for some of them, I'm sure. Such was it for Heydrich in my book, who was tried there and sentenced to prison for nearly a decade.

"D-DAY" PATHFINDERS: Most people think D-Day was June 6th, but it wasn't for everyone who landed in France to fight. Before the Rangers could "Lead the way," someone had to MARK the way! So the Pathfinders were dropped into France first and marked the drop-zones for the paratroopers (who, in turn, also left for France on the 5th, but whom I think were technically dropped on the 6th in the early morning). I also recall that some frogmen snuck onto the beaches and marked those, too, but I've never read nor heard much about them. And, by the way, the term "Frogman" is MUCH cooler than the modern term "SEAL." FROGMAN. Sounds unnatural, almost super-heroic, don't you think? Frankly, the Navy should have kept it as it was, IMO. Oh--and apparently, pathfinders were few and far between, because, according to THE LONGEST DAY author Cornelius Ryan, he couldn't track down a single one to interview for his now-seminal book on the battle!

DIETRICH, MARLENE: b. 1901-d.1992. Famed German actress whose career began in the twenties in German silents and extended into the sixties, she was famed not only for her husky voice but also her demand to have cinematographer Charles Lang photograph her films, if possible (he, apparently, held the lighting secret to bring out those famous cheekbones). Her best-remembered American film is probably DESTRY RIDES AGAIN, a pretty decent Western with Jimmy Stewart, though THE BLUE ANGEL and other Sternberg-directed films are probably what she's best known for in her native Germany. Dr. Hoevenaers' wife acted with Dietrich in German silents, but thought the star was unusually difficult to get along with. From what I know of Dietrich, that opinion was not unique! Frankly, I think Dietrich is horribly over-rated: looks-wise, acting-wise, and sex-appeal-wise. I'm sorry, but that's how I see it. Now, Garbo, SHE was a looker….

DONOVAN, "WILD BILL": b. 1883-d. 1959, Donovan was a legendary WWII intelligence officer, head of the OSS during that time (essentially the Director's boss). He served in WWI in France (serving with unusual distinction, was even awarded the Medal of Honor!), then rose in government service on a rapid trajectory given his intelligence, perseverance, and skill as a lawyer and bureaucracy politician. By the time WWII came around, he was an essential cog in the U.S. intelligence war machine. And then, after the war, he became a full-time lawyer, though always available---as a "consultant"--if his nation needed his particular expertise in the intelligence arena. I'm dying to know more about this guy! Did "Ike" call him for assistance very often? Was Donovan's "consultant" title merely honorary, or a cover for continued (though covert) active service? Something tells me there's a great movie in here somewhere! And if you are wondering if the character of the Director came partly from Donovan, the answer is, OF COURSE! The Director is basically an amalgam of baseball catcher-spy Moe Berg and OSS chief Donovan, with a few other touches of my own added into the mix (the Director's chain-smoking was inspired by Eisenhower, for instance). One aspect of Donovan that he shares with the Director is a rivalry and distaste for FBI Chief J Edgar Hoover--so that stuff between the Director and Hoover in book one (UNDER CLOAK OF DARKNESS) isn't "made up" at all; that's really what things were like back then (basically no one liked Hoover, other than Clyde Tolson!--wink wink). And for you film fans out there, in THE GOOD SHEPHERD, the Donovan character is played by Robert De Niro. No one in that film, however, is playing the Director or John Apparite, but you probably guessed that already.

DYNAMO MOSCOW FOOTBALL CLUB: Favorite soccer team of Russian agent Konnie Zhdanovich, Dynamo Moscow remains a Moscow institution, though not as powerful a squad as they have been in the past. Back in the fifties, they were a terrific team indeed, winners of the Russian Cup and League title in the years preceding Apparite meeting Zhdanovich. I bought a few Dynamo Moscow items recently---two t-shirts and a sweatshirt---and though I have no idea what is said on them, since everything is in Russian, they're rather nifty-looking items of apparel nonetheless.

ELFREIDE HOEVENAERS: Daughter of Dr. Hoevenaers, she suffers from a pulmonary condition--possibly TB, possibly bronchiectasis-and travels often to the Mediterranean when the Brussels city air becomes too much for her. Born of a Catholic father and Jewish mother, she and her mother were forced to escape Germany in the early thirties, barely surviving a harrowing journey--arranged by the Director--to freedom in England. Ever since, Dr. Hoevenaers has dedicated his life to helping the Director in his various causes, one of which led him to John Apparite, whom he now counts as one of his closest friends.

"FOKKERS FLYING MESSERSHMITTS": This classic WWII-era joke is told by Russian secret agent "Konnie" Zhdanovich, and for those wanting more than the punch-line given in AMOR, here it is in its entirety: A Polish Air Force officer is speaking to an English Ladies' Guild during The Blitz. In his thick Polish accent, he repeatedly says things like, "the Fokker dived in front of me," and "I rolled and shot that Fokker down," and so on. The Chairwoman of the Ladies' Guild, wishing to display her knowledge of enemy planes, pipes in: "For the benefit of the ladies present, I should mention that a Fokker is a type of German aircraft." To which the Polish pilot replies: "Yes, but these 'Fokkers' were flying Messerschmitts!" Get it? (rim-shot) I have another one about a man in a hairy WWII battle requesting last Catholic rites from a Rabbi, but we'll save that for another time.

FOXX, JIMMY: Possibly the strongest baseball player in the pre-steroid era (which means before 1990 basically), Foxx was a terror at the plate, routinely hitting over 50 homers, getting 140-plus RBI's, and batting well over .300 during his peak years with the Athletics and later the Red Sox back during the Depression. Foxx is famous for once hitting a home run so forcefully that it literally shattered a seat in the Shibe Park stands, a feat which Sam Rice recounts to Apparite during the Senators-Yankees baseball game. Sadly, strongman Foxx died under as strangely un-heroic circumstances as possible for a man of his great power: he choked to death on a piece of meat. For some reason, that always struck me as distinctly unfair. Oh, and in the CHEERS episode where an old enemy-friend of Coach's dies (he once betrayed Coach regarding a woman, I recall), the cardboard cut-out on display in the bar of that player is none other than that of: Jimmy Foxx.

GRUNBACH, CHRISTIANE: b.1928-d.? The great love of John Apparite's life, Ms. Grunbach originally was from the Alsace region of France/Germany, until her family relocated to Berlin, where her father managed the Berlin Staatsoper opera company. She married young during 1945, but unfortunately was widowed in April of that year when her husband was killed in the fall of Berlin. She's a few years older than Apparite, and certainly more experienced in the ways of love and sex, which explains, perhaps, why she did not resist going to bed with him so early--and perhaps unwisely--in their relationship. Her character is loosely based on a real-life KGB telephone exchange operator from the fifties known to the CIA as the "Nummer Madchen," or "Numbers Girl." This woman supplied the CIA with telephone exchange numbers and other vital information on many high level KGB employees in Germany, though her true name seems to have disappeared in the passage of time (and secrecy). So anyone who thinks that the Christiane Grunbach story doesn't quite ring true….well, feh on you! It WAS true! HA!

HARRIS, "BUCKY": Stanley "Bucky" Harris was second baseman and player-manager on the great Senators baseball teams of the 20's, who later became their manager once again (actually TWICE again, for a total of three stints at it!). He was named to the Hall of Fame in 1975, dying two years later of old age (he was 81). Harris was considered one of those "boy wonder" types back in the twenties, and one certainly can understand why: with him at second AND managing, he took one of the perennially worst teams in baseball and helped them become winners and Series champs in only a couple of years. Pretty impressive for a guy under the age of 30 at the time, I'd say.

HARVEY, BILL: Berline Bureau CIA Chief Bill Harvey was a real character right out of a comic strip: balding, heavy, and with a voice likened to that of a bullfrog, he carried a pearl-handled revolver around for no good reason, though I suspect in his own wild mind he imagined it was "just in case." Just in case of what, I doubt anyone ever knew. He was a partier, gregarious, and a womanizer, though looking at pictures of him one wonders if there was a School for the Blind and Oversexed nearby for him to cherry-pick chicks from. Anyway, Harvey wasn't all show and no blow: the guy had the wheels to get the job done, and done right. His spy tunnel, one of the great Western coups of the Cold War, was basically his baby. Not only that, but he was onto British spy turncoat Kim Philby before anyone else had a clue. I think his competence might be better remembered if a) He hadn't carried that revolver around and b) There were less pictures of him in print. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

HEYDRICH, WILHELM: Of all the names of all the people in WWII, Heydrich is one that occurs more than once with infamy. A powerful Nazi named Reinhard Heydrich was killed by the Czech resistance, in retaliation of which the Germans literally exterminated the entire town of Lidice. A General named Heydrich served the Reich with distinction on the Western Front. And lastly, for my purposes, there's Wilhelm Heydrich, whose character is (loosely) based on infamous SS commander Joachim Peiper (1915-1976), who fought in Belgium during the Bulge. He and his men were ruthless and cunning, flaunting the rules of warfare (they killed American POW's at Malmedy, and Belgian civilians near Stavelot), and after the war, Peiper paid a price: he was sentenced to prison time at a war-crimes tribunal in Dachau. After his release, he lived quietly in France, translating books from German, until 1976, when--and this is the creepy part, or the great part, depending on your perspective--he died in a "mysterious" fire at his cottage. Revenge? I think so. Memories are long, and some wounds never heal. While a militant French group claimed credit for his death, I'm not sure anyone knows the whole story of his demise.

HOEVENAERS' WIFE: A Berlin-born Jew, she married the good Doctor in the twenties, when she was an up-and-coming actress during some of the great days of early cinema. Most people don't know how influential and important German cinema was at that time, but it was: between German Expressionism (THE CABINET OF DR CALIGARI), German Sci-Fi (METROPOLIS), German suspense (M and PANDORA'S BOX), and Nazi-German documentary (TRIUMPH OF THE WILL), much of future cinema was shaped by those early years. Unfortunately, with the rise of Hitler came the downfall of German cinema: Jewish directors and actors could not find work, and emigrated/escaped or went into hiding; the film industry became a propaganda arm of the state; and all of that great German cinema went POOF! in an instant. Mrs. Hoevenaers' story was no different than that of any of her fellow Jews: once a colleague of Dietrich, once an actress under the direction of such legends as Pabst, Murnau, and Lang, she went into hiding and eventually had to escape to England with her daughter (also considered a Jew) to avoid the concentration camps. A vibrant, kind woman, she is best known to Apparite in AMOR for her baking, spaetzle-making, and housekeeping skills.

"HONEY-TRAP": This was a particular kind of blackmail ruse that the Soviets used to great effect back in the Cold War. A lonely, often alcoholic influential Westerner would be seduced by an unusually attractive woman. She would cozy up to him, pump him for information, and then try and get something bad on him for future use. Sometimes she discovered a secret--hidden homosexuality, perhaps, or a talent for embezzling funds--or sometimes she simply remained his mistress, but any way you looked at it, such men often ended up "over the barrel," easily tilted and swayed by the Soviets to be used for their own purposes. This is what D and the Director fear might be happening to Apparite in AMOR, though in the end it turned out not to be the case. In real life, the victims sometimes committed suicide when they discovered how they were being used, so effective and devastating were the results of a successful honey-trap. Others became, essentially, "defectors in place," working for the Soviets against their own country.

JACK DEMPSEY'S BROADWAY RESTAURANT: A restaurant located just down the street from Madison Square Garden, Dempsey's was a pretty popular hangout in the decades after the great champ's retirement from boxing. I found enough info on it to paint a pretty realistic portrait of it in the book, right down to its layout, the green-and-white-striped chairs, and its specialty of sirloin steak. What this proves is that, with enough effort, you can find something about almost anything on the Internet. The other restaurant mentioned in this section of the book is the famous Toot's Shor's, which was a particular hangout for ballplayers (hence the reason the Senators were going to go there after the game). And yes, Madison Square Garden WAS indeed located near Broadway and Dempspey's during that time--it was only later that it moved to its present location. In fact, if I recall correctly, we are now on the THIRD incarnation of Madison Square Garden. The proof of that is obvious: it's nowhere near Madison Square any more!

K-------, EDWIN: Apparite's father, a not-overly-successful insurance salesman who joined the US Army in mid-1944, he was a nice man but not as close to his son as he--or his son---would have wished. Not much of a success at anything, he died a hero during the Battle of the Bulge in the "Malmedy Massacre," which unfortunately remained unknown to his son, the future John Apparite, for years. He is buried in the American Cemetery of the Ardennes, along with a few thousand other Americans who died overseas. I've never been there, but I'd like to see it someday.

K-------, FRANK: True name of John Apparite, little Frank lost his father at an early age and never quite got over it, until he learned the circumstances of his father's death and finally learned to love him without reservation. In essence, "learning to love" is the single most important plot thread of this book, something which the PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY reviewer missed entirely. Actually, they missed the whole boat entirely, but that rant is for another time and place.

KARLSHORST: This was the East German headquarters of the KGB, in a large complex that formerly was the St Antonius Hospital. One of the largest such bases in all of Europe, one can only imagine what went on in there.

KARLSHORST TELEPHONE EXCHANGE: Location of Christiane Grunbach's employment, I based her character and spying on a true person, nicknamed by the CIA the "Nummer Madchen," or "Numbers Girl," a KGB phone operator who provided valuable info regarding location and identities of many Soviet and East German operatives on the sly. No one knows what happened to her--defection, death, or retirement--which seems rather a shame for such a courageous woman.

KNICKERBOCKER BEER: Back in the day, every ball-team and stadium had its own signature beer. In New York, I recall that Schaefer, Ballantine, and Knickerbocker were the big ones (you can see them in photos of the old New York ballparks), whereas in Baltimore it was National Bohemian beer, and in St Louis it was Budweiser. Some of this still goes on today--Miller Park and Coors Field, for example--but an association with REGIONAL brews seems to have disappeared, which is a shame. I've never had a Knickerbocker, nor a Schaefer, nor a Ballantine, but I've had National Bo, Miller, Bud, and Coors, which is saying something, I suppose. rks), whereas in Baltimore it was National Bohemian beer, and in St Louis it was Budweiser. Some of this still goes on today--Miller Park and Coors Field, for example--but an association with REGIONAL brews seems to have disappeared, which is a shame. I've never had a Knickerbocker, nor a Schaefer, nor a Ballantine, but I've had National Bo, Miller, Bud, and Coors, which is saying something, I suppose.

KRIEK BEER: One of the wonders of Belgium, kriek beer is a lambic brew made with cherries for flavoring. True lambic beers come from the area near Brussels in Belgium. They are partially spontaneously fermented using old oak casks-which supply some of the necessary bacteria for fermentation-left open to supply other 'wild yeasts' that add to the brewing of it as well. At first it was felt that these wild yeasts were the key to the beer's bracing taste, but recently I read that it's really the old casks. Regardless, the flavored lambic beers are some of the tastiest in the world, and everyone loves them. Some are more sweet than bitter, and some the other way around, but there's a style for everyone. There's nothing I love more than a cool Lindemanns framboise (raspberry) as an after-dinner cordial. It's of the sweet style, and I've never met a woman that didn't absolutely swoon over it. The more bitter styles are just as delicious in my opinion, though they take a bit more getting used to.

And if you're ever lucky enough to be in Wisconsin, the New Glarus brewery makes a very authentic-tasting cherry lambic-style beer that is just as good as those from Belgium. Actually, there are a bunch of wonderful breweries in Wisconsin, plus great cheese and brats, so if you're there, go nuts on all of that.

LAKE, VERONICA: Born in 1922 (died in 1977), Lake was one of those famous WWII-era actresses with a gimmick: Grable had legs, Bankhead had the voice, and Lake had one eye. Well, she had two, but one always seemed to be covered by hair, which was her trademark. In AMOR, Christiane Grunbach's hair is always falling over one of her eyes, and she continually has to flick it back again. In my opinion, that's pretty sexy, which is why it appears in the book. Back to V.L., her best film is probably SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS with Joel McCrea, directed by the great Preston Sturges. It's not full of laughs like his other pics, but makes up for it in message: sometimes, art is best for entertainment rather than for enlightenment. Maybe someone should have told that to the PW critic who panned my book!

LANG, FRITZ: Lang was perhaps the most influential of all German directors, partly because his films were do damn good and visionary (think METROPOLIS), and partly because after going to Hollywood during the rise of Nazism, he continued to make great films (think THE BIG HEAT with Glenn Ford). But my favorite of all Lang pictures-and this really needs top be remade by someone sharp-is "M". Lang takes what could have been a sordid story of a pedophilic murderer (played by the incomparable Peter Lorre) and turns it into a thrilling murder mystery that somehow makes the killer sympathetic and his pursuers inhumane. It's a real tour-de-force, a must-see for any cinephile. Any-hoo, in AMOR Mrs. Hoevenaers tells Apparite of her career in German cinema, where she had the honor of being directed by Lang. Don't know what film, but I always imagined her in a bit-part in "M".

LEONARD, JOHNNY "KID": Let's start with the name. Love the boxer nickname "Kid," so the Kid he was. I named him "Leonard" after tough-guy actor Sheldon Leonard. And by coincidence, Apparite's favorite boxer Carmen Basilio (see UCOD glossary) actually DID lose the welter-weight title in 1956, though that fight was in Chicago and not in New York (slight artistic license on my part). Leonard was cocky, talented, and dirty, and since I cannot stand fighter who fight dirty and are cocky, it was enjoyable having Apparite take him down a few pegs. And for those who think it's unrealistic for Apparite to have done so, you have to remember this: boxers lose brawls outside of the ring ALL THE TIME. In the ring, they're great. But put them up against a martial artist, or a UFC champ, and they just can't cope. A long time ago, pro wrestler Andre the Giant 'fought' a heavyweight boxer. And you know what happened? The boxer hit Andre hard in the face, Andre got pissed, so he picked the boxer up in his arms AND THREW HIM OUT OF THE RING! Fight over. Boxing is indeed the "sweet science," and I love it, but it's a real specialty sport.

LONDON-HEATHROW AIRPORT: Heathrow airport is a wild, wild place, man, and Apparite has had the privilege of passing through it twice now. Personally, I get a huge kick out of it compared to American airports. First of all, they don't have you go to your gate until you're ready to board, which makes for better people watching in the central food-court area. They also have multiple security checkpoints, most of which move smoothly, with unfailingly polite (but firm) people working in them. It's a rather comforting set-up, given some of the terror plots of recent years.

On the downside, the long cattle-like immigrations line can be a drag, and if you're a physician, the immigrations officers ware likely to ask you for free medical advice. I got grilled on an appropriate diet for diverticulosis, while my ENT buddy was quizzed on sinusitis and post-nasal drip. I couldn't tell whether they were just making sure I was a real physician--like there's been a real big problem with fake doctors infiltrating England lately--or whether indeed this woman feared eating nuts and popcorn. The English, I have found, are an inscrutable people. All I can say is this: I'm damn glad I'm not a gynecologist. I can only imagine what might have come up between me and the middle-aged immigrations lady.

Heathrow is, really, the United Nations of airports. You will see people from every possible nation on earth all in one place, but if you REALLY want a neat experience before you go to your gate, check out the smaller 'food court' around the corner from the large one. This is the one that the rich Arabs use, and it's got every swanky store in the world (top-notch jewelry, clothes, and watches) plus a French-Moroccan restaurant.

THE LOVE-STRUCK CONCIERGE: In a book filled with poisonings, shootings, stabbings, and mayhem, I thought it needed just a touch of silliness, which was supplied by the LOVE-STRUCK CONCIERGE. A hopeless romantic, looking for love in even the most unlikely of places, she falls under Apparite's spell when he is in disguise as a dashing German naturalist. I'll be honest with you: my wife doesn't care for this character or chapter, but I rather liked it as a change of pace in a segment of the book that would otherwise be rather grim. And she's not that unrealistic of a person, really. A woman of her age would have had limited romantic prospects, so she would have snapped at any prey that might have happened her way. Besides, having her in the book gave me a chance to use the great word 'hussy.'

LOHMANN, FRITZ: b. 1920-d.1956 A thoroughly unlikable sort once you got to know him, Lohmann (yes, the name was intentional, since he is indeed a 'low man') is on the surface a charmer, but underneath is out for only one man--himself--and only one thing--money. Men like Lohmann flocked to Berlin after the war, since there were so many opportunities for black market dealings (especially during the blockade) as well as information-selling opportunities as well. Like a cockroach, such men not only lived but THRIVED on the scraps of humanity. Well, they did until the exterminator caught up with them, in this case, John Apparite. Lohmann also is a drinker of Pils beer, not Marzen or Mars or Weisse beers, which I think only adds to the disreputable nature of the man.

LUCKY STRIKE CIGARETTES: Death wrapped in paper, Lucky Strikes still evoke memories of the 30's through the 50's, when they were in their hey-day. Invariably, when one wants to evoke a by-gone era, one has one's character rip open a pack of 'Luckies.' Naturally, an author using this brand is going to invoke the brand's famous slogan at some point, often abbreviated by these five letters "L-S-M-F-T," which stand for "Lucky Strikes Mean Fine Tobacco." I am not a cigarette smoker, but once had the displeasure of inhaling from a Lucky. Let me tell you, mustard gas has nothing on those little babies. It's mind boggling to me that you can still buy them in their horrible, unfiltered, lung-clogging glory.

MALMEDY MASSACRE: On December 17, 1944 the Bulge was raging as the Germans, including ruthless SS commander Joachim Peiper and his men, drove a salient deep into American lines. Having given orders to show no quarter and take no prisoners, Peiper's troops naturally took matters into hand and opened fire on a group of captured GI's near the quaint Belgium town of Malmedy. Some escaped, but 88 of them died (other similar incidents were also reported near the town of Stavelot). Many had wounds in the head, hinting at something more than the 'shot while escaping' excuses the Germans later gave at the Dachau War Crimes Trial. In the end, Peiper was imprisoned after the war until 1956 when he was released. Less than 10 years later, he was dead, a victim of a mysterious fire at his cottage in France. One interesting sidelight for auto racing fans is that the Spa-Francorchamps racecourse, home of the Belgium Formula One Grand Prix, goes right through the area where these sorts of incidents occurred, in the towns of Stavelot and Malmedy.

MANNEKEN PIS: If I told you that the revered symbol of the capitol of Belgium was a two-foot tall statue of a little boy taking a piss would you believe it? Well, it's true. Originally designed as a fountain for public drinking water, the little boy peeing statue is renowned around the world, practically the 'poster boy' as a representation of the oddball humor of the Belgian people. Over the years, the statue has been vandalized, stolen, and dressed in a variety of interesting costumes, though only the latter is now tolerated (in fact, he has a wardrobe of over 800 outfits in storage!). The tale behind the statue goes like this: a young Belgian prince was lost in the city and, to everyone's joy, was discovered while peeing into a gutter on a Brussel's street corner. To mark the occasion, the statue of a peeing boy was erected. Apocryphal? Perhaps, but then again, what other explanation COULD there be that might make more sense than that??

MAY DAY: We have the 4th of July, and the Soviet Union has May Day, one of their most important and celebrated official holidays of the Russki year. Now, the first of May is a big holiday for many groups: it's a celebration of Spring and growth and rebirth and such in England and the U.S. (with dancing around the May Pole and the giving of little gifts in a "May Basket"), a celebration of worker solidarity (with singings of the "Internationale" commie-worker theme song), and a celebration of all things Soviet (with a hundred T-34 tanks and missile launchers parading down Moscow's wide avenues).

In fact, the Soviets loved May Day so much they FORCED their satellite nations like Poland, East Germany, and so on to adopt it themselves, too! To me, this is the most insidious of all corruptions of the Soviet regime. It's like us going into Mexico and forcing them to celebrate Columbus Day, or Super Bowl Sunday. Anyway, in AMOR it is during the May Day holiday that Apparite kills the KGB men running their kill-the-defector scheme. It's also the reason Zhdanovich runs out of vodka, which had been confiscated for all the Soviet bosses.

As you can tell, I think May Day is a pretty stupid holiday, though it does have some appeal in its predictability. It's not like Easter, which can come anywhere between the last week of March and mid-April, which really drives me crazy. Or Columbus Day, which is, like, the most worthless holiday on the calendar. Face it: he didn't do shit. There were people ALREADY in the Americas, Columbus wasn't the first one to sail to it anyway, and while Italians love to claim it as "their" holiday, Columbus wouldn't have gotten out of the harbor if it weren't for the Spanish royalty who underwrote the whole absurd venture. If anything, it should be celebrated by the Spaniards, only they have too much sense to do it. Not only that, but Columbus got hopelessly lost, misidentified where he landed, misidentified the people he met, and then gave them smallpox, killing most of them. Hey, let's give everyone a free day off work every October!

Frankly, compared to that epic cluster-f**k, celebrating the first day of May actually sounds pretty reasonable.

MOSKVICH & KIM-10 CARS: The Trabant was the well-known feculent car of the Eastern Bloc, but unfortunately hadn't yet been built in 1956, so I had to find other choices. After a little research, and I mean VERY little research, I ran across the Moskvich and Kim-10, both shitty cars of dubious construction. Perfect! From what I gathered, there were only about ten different makes of cars in the Eastern Bloc: Mercedes for the fat-cats, then assortments of Fiats, Trabants, and Volkswagons for the rest. I myself owned a really malodorous Fiat 128 at one time in my college years, which is only a baby-step above the Trabant. So I can sympathize. Apparite's car in AMOR, naturally, was a piece of junk, and I would have been remiss not to have it break down at a crucial moment. So it did.

MULLER, HANS: "Hans Muller," aka John Apparite, was the moniker Apparite took as the lover of Christiane Grunbach. He also used the alias of "Horst Koller" in AMOR, when posing as a defector. Of course, even "John Apparite" isn't his real name, so the poor bastard really can't claim to rightly be anyone at all most of the time. Hence one of the lasting themes of the series: who IS John Apparite? And just how much of him remains Frank K-------, that nice young man from Eckhart Springs, MD?

MURNAU, F.W.: Murnau was one of the great silent-film German directors who, along with Pabst and Lang, redefined cinema around the world. His most famous film is SUNRISE, with the Dracula movie NOSFERATUA and the great Emil Jannings film THE LAST LAUGH a close behind. Of those three, I like NOSFERATU the best. It is genuinely creepy, yet really doesn't show anything gory or even particularly shocking. In fact, it had such an influence that it was remade in the 1980's by Werner Herzog (starring Klaus Kinski) into a very fine film, and its true-life backstory--the inherent creepiness of the original's star, Max Screck--was made into the film SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE starring Willem Dafoe. To make a wide story thin, Murnau was killed in 1931 in an automobile accident, cutting short one of the great directorial careers in history. On a side-note, the car was being driven by Murnau's fourteen year old Filipino chauffeur, showing that a man who knows how to cast a film doesn't necessarily show good judgment in picking chauffeurs. FOURTEEN years old! What the hell was wrong with the man?

NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE: At one point in history NYC had about ten daily papers, but now they're down to basically THREE (The Times, The Post, and The Daily News). Back in the olde days, there was the Herald Tribune, reputed to be a 'writer's paper,' meaning that the staff was intelligent and literary, as opposed to just putting words on paper and captioning a few lurid photographs. My exposure to the Herald Tribune, and the reason I used it in AMOR, is solely because of the Roger Kahn book THE BOYS OF SUMMER, a nice little memoir of his days rooting for the Dodgers in Brooklyn, then covering them in the mid-fifties for the Herald Tribune, then catching up with them in the seventies as older men. Newspapers ain't what they used to be, nor are their columnists the community fixtures they once were, and that's a shame. The days of the Breslin's and Royko's of the world is passing us by, and now all we seem to have are anonymous and often dubious stories on the Internet. And yes, it makes me mad.

NEW YORK YANKEES: What can I say about the hated Yankees that you don't already know? That they've won over two dozen World Series, doubling the total of their nearest rival, the Cardinals? That they pay the highest salaries, are destroying a historic ballpark for the sake of $$$, have had the biggest jerks as owners (George Steinbrenner), managers (Billy Martin), and general managers (George Weiss in the forties and fifties), and have attracted irritating bandwagon fans the world over, to boot?

And yet, they did NOT make the playoffs this year! They haven't won a Series for almost TEN years now! They've paid ridiculous money for a ballplayer that can't hit in the clutch, and they still can't find a decent rotation of starting pitchers. As a kid, and a huge Orioles fan (my father was from Baltimore--it was in my blood), I DESPISED the Yankees, even though they didn't get good until 1976. I STILL despise them, and I will ALWAYS despise them. How many other franchises have been compared to US Steel? How many have had musicals written about them, literally DAMNING their name in the title?

None. And yet I must admit this: major league baseball is a lot more fun when the Yankees are good. Every Holmes has his Moriarty, every Valjean his Javert. Yes I hate them, but in a year like this, I also rather miss them.

"ONE TIME PAD": A means of secure communication, these simple yet clever coded messages were commonly used during the Cold War. They reason they worked so well was simple: they used a simple code but they used it only ONCE. It's tough to break a code with a single, disposable message. Apparite uses them in AMOR when the Director leaves a coded message telling the young agent where his next mission is to begin. And then, as he should, Apparite destroys the message and corresponding code. HOWEVER, there's a tale of Soviet agents who were too lazy to derive a unique code for each message, and began reusing them. Unfortunately for them, the West soon began to decode the messages and everything they communicated about was brought to light. As I say in another part of this web site, "There's a REASON it's called a 'One Time Pad,' kamrade!"

OPERATION "STOP-WATCH GOLD": This was the code name for the CIA-MI6 joint venture "spy tunnel" into East Berlin which, when operable, was able to decipher literally thousands of secret Soviet messages. There are a few little interesting factoids about it that I will now list: A) The tunnel was made of thousands of circular interlocking three-inch rings, like a "slinky" compressed together. All told, it ran almost a quarter-mile in length! Impressive. B) The tunnel ran just a few feet under a major highway, yet no one above was the wiser. C) The Soviets knew about it ALL THE TIME from turncoat spy George Blake, but did NOT expose the tunnel for fear of exposing Blake as the informant. They simply decided to TAKE THEIR LUMPS and hope no truly important messages were ever intercepted. If you think about it, that's a pretty ballsy play! (and speaks as to how highly they must have valued the traitor Blake's contributions) D) When the tunnel was finally "discovered," the East Germans and Soviets actually DID conduct tours through it, and there WAS a sausage and beer-stand on the premises. So yes, that part in AMOR was 100% true. E) A few years back, while excavating the area for an unrelated reason, a section of the tunnel--completely forgotten--was unearthed. I hope they saved some for a museum. F) In order to translate the thousands and thousands of messages, the British housed dozens of Russian émigrés in London and had them work day and night in offices at Carlton Terrace. I hope they paid them well, because more boring work I cannot imagine. In the end, experts say that the cumulative effect of the ruse was positive in the West's favor, though no single big breakthrough messages were ever discovered.

OSS: The "Office of Strategic Services" was Wild Bill Donovan's brainchild, the war-time beginning, essentially, of the modern CIA. Donovan was the Director's boss, but I imagine the Director was one of his key advisors in changing the OSS into the CIA after the war. Certainly Donovan was an impressive man (read his bio above), and it's a shame he's not more well known, since I would consider him a true American hero.

PABST, G.W.: Director of cinema classic PANDORA'S BOX, Pabst was one of the stalwarts of German expressionistic cinema, along with Lang and Murnau. PANDORA'S BOX is an entertaining and sexy film starring American Louise Brooks, and even if you haven't heard of her, you've seen her haircut in EVERY twenties film ever made: she practically defined that flapper bob with that swoop of hair in front of the ears curving toward the chin. Unlike Lang and Murnau and so many others, Pabst made films well into the reign of the evil Third Reich, which hindered his career when he eventually left Germany. He died in 1956, a footnote, really, in cinemal history. Only with the rediscovery of PANDORA'S BOX in the sixties and seventies did his name rise once again among the other greats of cinema history.

PEYTON PLACE: This was a lurid, incredibly popular soap opera-ish book about a small New England town published in the mid-fifties, and yes I've read it. At the time, it was thought to be sensationalistic, if not downright crude, but now it's tamer than a "Very Special Episode of BLOSSOM." Frankly, it's nothing to write home about now. The movie, however, still holds up pretty well; nearly as well as Kim Novak's brassiere in the flick, which was, I'm told, the engineering feat of its time. Later on, there was a PEYTON PLACE soap opera, which starred a young Ryan O'Neal, before he got all slimy and gross. I also think Colt QB Peyton Manning was named after the book (or movie, or tv show), though I'm less certain of that. What I AM certain of, though, is that the Colts offense really has a hard time with 3rd down conversions and throwing downfield when tight end Dallas Clark isn't playing. Why Clark hasn't yet been named to a Pro Bowl team yet is really beyond me.

POTATO-IN-THE-TAILPIPE-GAG: Let me start off by saying that I completely disavow this trick, and that I don't want any teenagers out there trying it just because they read it in my stupid book. Now that I've got that out of the way, the potato in the tailpipe is a classic gag. Obviously, you jam a potato in the tailpipe, some poor bastard starts his car, pressure builds up behind the potato, which then explodes out of the tailpipe with a loud retort. Young boys, for some odd reason, think that this is hilarious. Other immature pranks of the same ilk include the "silver snake" (drag a foil-covered stick across the road at night; when a headlight hits it, it alarms the driver, who screeches to a halt--what fun!!), or chucking ripe tomatoes at cars (side-splitting fun!!). I should make clear that I have NEVER done any of these myself, though I would be lying if I implied that, at some time in my youth, I hadn't stood by and laughed when others did.

POTSDAM AGREEMENT: This was the August of 1945 agreement between the four major allied powers--the US, France, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union--on what to do with all of the nations Germany had conquered, and of Germany itself, when Hitler finally was defeated. The results were, of course, unsatisfying. The lands assigned to the West remained free. Those under Soviet care soon went under the Soviet thunb. More than anything else, this agreement defined the boundaries of the Cold War, and remained in place right up until the fall of the Soviet Union in the nineties. It always impressed me that somehow Austria and Vienna remained free. A few mis-steps, and it might not have been so, I think.

POTSDAMERPLATZ: This was a famous Berlin square that just happened to be basically transected by the Berlin Wall, which basically took it out of commission, and the public eye, for decades--until recently, that is. After the Wall fell, a billion dollar building project was begun at the Potsdamerplatz, and you wouldn't recognize the place now. Seriously, it looks like some futuristic playground with no sense that anything else had ever belonged or been built there. It was when I saw a documentary on the new Potsdamerplatz that I made my decision not to go to Berlin to write this book. It's simply not the same city as in Apparite's time. Also, I don't speak German.

RED LION PUB: One of the symbols of England is a standing red lion, which has been borrowed countless times as a name for pubs. In London, I have been to two different Red Lion pubs, and I know where a third one beckons the next time I'm there. I suppose the American version is "The Corner Bar." Is there a town in the U.S. that DOESN'T have a Corner Bar? Anyway, the Red Lion in the theatre district in London is apparently Apparite's "local," since it's the pub he ends up going to the most (once in UCOD, twice in AMOR). My version of the Red Lion is based on the famed Covent Garden area pub the Lamb and Flag, down to its location at a convergence of two small pedestrian-only alleys. It's a fun little haunt, though too-often crowded for my taste. Still, I try and grab a pint there when I'm in the area. A photo of the Lamb and Flag is in the photo section of the website (along with quite a few other pubs).

RHINBOURG: A small town in the Alsace region of western France, it is Apparite's base when seeking and finding and killing SS War Criminal Wilhelm Heydrich. I got the name "Rhinbourg" by combining the pre-fex "Rhin" (after the "Rhine" river and region), and the suffix "bourg," a German suffix meaning "city," I believe. Such towns are, in real life, unusually quaint and lovely, and do indeed have small little hotel-restaurants in them, just like the Hotel Paradis ("The Paradis Hotel") in my book. In addition to that hotel, run by the Love-Struck Concierge, is a cafe, titled Cafe d'Or ("The Gold Cafe") which, according to said concierge, employs too many hussies. Nestled in the arms of the Vosges Mountains, Rhinbourg is quiet, beautitiful, and out-of-the way. I always imagined Apparite going back to it someday to relax and recharge. It's a nice thought.

RICE, SAM: One of the greatest players in Senators history, the outfielder Rice was involved in the single most famous baseball play of the early century. In the 1925 World Series, he jumped literally into the stands to catch a long flyball hit by Pirate Earl Smith, and the catch saved the game for the Nats. For literally DECADES this play was debated, since many persons thought the catch was impossible to make (every person at that game would call it the greatest catch they'd ever seen). For almost fifty years, Rice refused to comment on it--in fact, he seemed to enjoy the mystery surrounding it. In fact, he never even told his wife and kids what really had happened! Finally, after his death, a letter he'd sealed and sent to Cooperstown was opened, revealing that he had, indeed, maintained possession of the ball and made the catch. Of course, we all know one man to whom he divulged his secret: John Apparite. Unfortunately, Apparite's mind was wandering and he realized, too late, what Rice had told him about it. John, you should LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS when they're talking to you! Serves you right, frankly.

SAVERNE: It's a pretty little town in eastern France. Okay, that's enough.

SCHWARZBIER: The word "schwarz" means "black," and that is what a schwarzbier is: a black lager, that is not nearly as strong-tasting as its color might suggest. A good American version is Dixie Voodoo Lager, made in Louisiana, and which is very good with dishes like jambalaya. Where does the color come from? Like coffee, the strength of flavor and, in some ways, the color of the drink is dependent on the color of the roasted beans--or, in the case of beer, the roasted barley--and the barley in black beer is roasted dark, indeed. Dark does not mean the same as strong, and a schwarzbier is surprisingly mild in taste (and strength).

SPAETZLE: Some people like spaetzle and some don't, and I think it depends on your expectations more than anything else. Think of it as German rice, perhaps, meant more as a filler than a main event. In brief, spaetzle is a dough product, a group of tiny little dumpling-like objects about the size of jelly beans. Fairly tasteless by themselves, they're pretty good when adorned with some butter and chives, or perhaps some nutmeg (as Hoevenaer's wife likes them), or perhaps garlic, or sometimes cinnamon, maybe. The point is, and maybe this is like life in some way, that spaetzles are exactly what you make out of them. I suppose that if life gives you spaetzle, you should make spaetzle-aide!

"SWALLOW": The "Swallow" was the female half of a "Honey-Pot" scheme, where a woman seduces a man, begins a relationship with him, and then learns his secrets for the government that is controlling her. The Soviets in particular were adept at finding Swallows, sometimes using ballerinas (and other sexy minxes) living in Moscow. Sometimes the Swallow spied actively and passed on information back to her handlers, sometimes she as used as a blackmail tool if the target was married. As one might expect, such relationships didn't work out too well in the end for the poor guy on the receiving end! I did, however, learn of one case where the Swallow and the target eventually got married and lived happily ever after. Apparently, love DOES conquer all, at least about every one in ten thousand times!

T206 TOBACCO/BASEBALL CARDS: The first thing you need to know is that this set of cards includes the most valuable baseball card in existence, the Honus Wagner T206 tobacco card. Wagner was strongly agin' smoking, so he kicked up a fuss and the tobacco companies stopped making his card after just a couple of print ones. Like the Mona Lisa and the late Dudley Moore, the cards seem smaller in person than one expected, but the explanation is simple: they were sized to fit in cigarette packs (the cards are only an inch and a half wide and less than three inches tall). I have a Walter Johnson T206 card in very nice condition, as well as a Calvin Griffith card from the same set. These cards were printed from 1910-1912, and are quite handsome when not too beat-up. The most valuable of them, naturally, belong to the most famous and infamous: Joe Jackson, Christy Mathewson, Ty Cobb, and Walter Johnson cards in prime condition can be worth literally thousands of dollars. A picture of my Johnson card is included in the "Easter Egg" section of the web site, if you can find it.

TETRODOTOXIN: This is bad stuff, and you can blame bacteria for it. These bacteria live in certain animal species (the puffer fish, poisonous toads, some flatworms, crabs, starfish, as well as the Australian Blue Ringed Sea Octopus), and are used to paralyze prey or predators in one of the more interesting symbiotic relationships in nature. It is a rapidly paralyzing agent, which I likened, in the way it acted, to neuromuscular blocker succinylcholine: fast, complete, and (without respiratory support) deadly. Now, the Director's version is different than the naturally-occuring one: purified, enhanced, with an almost instantaneous affect. In real life, Tetrodotoxin kills within minutes; in AMOR, within seconds. This, my friend is called "artistic license." Another term might be "playing fast and loose with the facts." On the other, maybe the Director's verson of tetrodotoxin really WAS that good!

TOOTS SHOR'S: A restaurant and hang-out for athletes, it was a well-known meeting place for Yankee players in particular (in fact, there was a recent book written about the Toots scene). There's a famous story about Billy Martin and Mickey Mantle, who were Toots regulars. The Yankees management heard of their carousing, and hired a PI to follow them after a game. The PI wasn't a fan, didn't know Mantle from a hole in the ground, but a fellow (and conniving) Yankee player pointed out the two of them to the PI after a game.

Unfortunately for the PI, the player purposely pointed out the two cleanest-cut players on the squad to cover for Mantle and Martin. So the PI gives his report the next day, which I'm told went something like this: "Well, first they went and had an ice cream. Then they saw that new Doris Day picture. Then they went to Coney Island and spent some time there. At ten o'clock, they were home with lights out."

Meanwhile, Mantle and Martin were boozing it up all over town having the time of their lives.

UNTER DEN LINDEN: Famous tree-lined boulevard in Berlin ("Under the Lindens"), it was as swanky as the Champs-a-Lysee, yet unlike the French avenue, did not survive the war intact. The buildings were destroyed, the trees burned out, and soon it was tucked away in the East to rot and fade away. Still, some places, like the Café Falke, tried to preserve the old dignity of the avenue, as mentioned in AMOR. Now, however, with the Wall down it's beginning to approach its former glory. Yet another place in this world that I have to have a beer at someday.

VIKTOR: Born and raised in Leningrad in the early 20's, Viktor becomes almost a sympathetic figure by the end of AMOR, in a way. Here's a guy whose parents were killed when he was young--like Apparite's were--who joined SMERSH to exact revenge on the West for not liberating Leningrad during the war, who follows his duty, who kills in the name of his duty. Gee, who does that sound like? (anyone who said "John Apparite" gets a brownie point) Now, Viktor is a bit mentally unstable, but in the end Apparite is forced to face this fact: he and Viktor are basically one and the same, leaving him to ponder this question: How can you take revenge on yourself? He also realizes, I think, that if Viktor had been born in New York, he would be the same type of man, only now working FOR the United States. Kind of blurs the line between what one would consider 'good' and what one would consider 'evil,' don't you think? Just how much does circumstance play in these sorts of things? Would the hated Heydrich of AMOR been a hero at the Bulge if he'd been raised in St Louis and fought on the U.S. side? Okay, discuss amongst yourselves….

VOLKSPOLIZEI: I've often wondered just how the Soviets could have controlled East Germany for so long, since it clearly took no small measure of East German cooperation to do so. Many of those that cooperated--and yes, I'm faulting them for it--worked as Volkspolizei in the East German police force. Derisively called 'Vopos' by the common-folk, I always pictured them as petty and irritating martinets that went by the book. A bit more benign than the East Germans that worked for the evil Stasi (the secret police), I envision the Vopos as being more klumsy than killer, more irritant than insidious, more krazy than crazed.

VOSGES MOUNTAINS: The Vosges Mountains are in northwestern France, in territory that has, over history, been variably German or French. Many, many years ago I visited the area, and it is unusually picturesque, reminiscent of the Appalachians of the Eastern U.S. The area of the Vosges is a veritable cultural bonanza, taking all of the best from both nations: you've got excellent French beer and good German wine, good French wine and excellent German beer, and a cuisine that uses both French and German principles and ingredients. It's an area that tends to 'fly under the radar,' so I'd expect hotels and such to be quite reasonably priced there. I also recall that it was fairly untouched by war, since the mountains provided a natural barrier that everyone went around, as opposed to over. You know, I really should go back someday, stay in a little hotel like Apparite, and assassinate an ex-SS commander.

Just kidding.

"VS-VW": The "Very Special Volkswagon," as named by D, was based on a real car used by an East German man to smuggle people into the West. His version had the hidden compartment under the rear seat, but that sounded too dull, and easily discovered, for my taste. So I put the svelte Christiane in a tiny, ingenious compartment in the front seat, where no one would ever think of looking. Obviously, this would not work in Wisconsin.

WANER, PAUL and LLOYD: The greatest brother-brother pair of players in baseball history, the Waners were staples in the Pirated lineup from the 20's into the 40's. Paul was the boozer and heavy hitter for tremendous average, while his quieter brother Lloyd was the singles hitter. And I MEAN singles: in one year, Lloyd Waner hit 198 singles! Of note, they also had GREAT nicknames" Paul was "Big Poison" and Lloyd was "Little Poison." I cannot, however, give them the title of best brother-brother nicks, though. That, of course, belongs to Dizzy Dean and his brother Daffy. One of the Deans once threw a no-hitter, and no, it wasn't the more famous Dizzy--it was Daffy. Anyway, baseball was just plain a lot more fun and colorful back then, which is probably why I don't follow it as much these days. Also, the Orioles stink, which doesn't help.

WEST-MARKS: The origination of the West-mark as a separate currency was the straw that broke the Soviet/East German camel's back after WWII. When that happened, all hell broke loose: you had the Berlin embargo, you had the Worker's Uprising, you had tension and tanks, and you eventually had separation. While other factors were in play, the division of currency into valuable West-marks and worthless East-marks really began to Berlin Division more than anything else. Now everyone is on the Euro--except Old Blighty, which is still retaining pounds--which is probably as good a sign of a lasting peace in Europe more than anything else.

WURST: Anyone from the Midwest knows what a true 'wurst' is, mainly from eating the products of the famous Johnsonville 'bratwurst' company of Wisconsin. Generically, wurst are German sausages of various shapes, sizes, and ingredients, varying from short and stumpy to long and curly, filled with meat and spices though some are stuffed with blood and guts, too. Now, people in the Midwest love wurst (in the form of hot dogs and brats) but I'll admit that we tend to leave the blood sausage alone. And there's a funny thing about wursts and condiments: while most persons eat a frankfurter with mustard, I've noticed that most people eat a bratwurst with ketchup. Sounds odd, until you realize that Berlin curry-wurst, which is similar to a brat, is eaten with a tomato-based sauce. So, really, you can go either way. As for me, nothing beats a hot brat off the grill--good Midwest brands include Hy-Vee (Iowa supermarket chain brand) and the aforementioned Johnsonville--with onion, ketchup, and an Oktoberfest Marzen-style beer. You can get them spicy, dotted with cheese, beer-stewed, jalapeno-ed, and other assorted ways. And while I love a good hot dog, a grilled brat cannot be beat. Not by a Nathan's hot dog, not by a Hebrew National hot dog, not by a Ballpark Plumper.

YANKEE STADIUM: Ah, "The House that Ruth Built," when opened in 1923 one of the architectural wonders of the world, now soon to be a memory. I still can't get over the fact that there's going to be a new Yankee Stadium, and that Steinbrenner was able to get rid of the old one without being run out of town on a rail. In addition to all of the great baseball games that have been played there (Larsen's Series perfect game, Reggie's three-homer Series game, etc), Yankee Stadium was also the site of the most famous NFL game ever played, the 1958 "Sudden Death" Championship game between my beloved Colts and the "New York Football Giants." It's also hosted the Dempsey-Sharkey fight, the famous Louis-Schmeling fight, the Pope, Billy Graham, and other great events in its time (though Shea Stadium got the Beatles). Back in the day, the three monuments in deep center field (to Huggins, Gehrig, and Ruth) were IN THE ACTUAL FIELD OF PLAY, and as a kid watching on TV I remember Frank Robinson once getting an inside-the-park homer when the ball settled behind one of them and the Yank center fielder couldn't find it. In my opinion, the destruction of this wonderful ballpark is just another notch in the bedpost of Mr. Declining Respect For Our Glorious Past. God I hate that guy, and it's not because his name is so long.

ZHDANOVICH, KONSTANTIN: "Konnie" was a Moscow-born KGB man, sort of a Soviet version of a Superagent (he works "at the pleasure" of the Soviet Premier), who befriends Apparite and works with him to kill the rogue SMERSH man Viktor. Zhdanovich, like Apparite, is a big sports fan, a devoted follower of the famed football team Dynamo Moscow. Gregarious, unusually fun-loving for a ruthless killer, Konnie later becomes one of the most influential persons in Apparite's life, for reasons that may, in future books, become clear. But for now, he's simply a pleasant surprise-ally during Apparite's Berlin mission, even if he smokes too much, drinks too much, and tells too many stale jokes. You know the type--he probably works at your company's loading dock.

ZUM SCHWARTZ: Formal German name of the café known as the Café Schwarz in AMOR, it is also the title of a famed "drinking game" at my alma mater, involving these four words--Zum, Schwarz, Beiderman, or Profligiano---in a fast-paced word-play game. Other irresponsible drinking games at my alma mater included "Mexican," "Cardinal Puff," "Roshambo" (played after I'd graduated), and "Quarters." However, we never did play "Flip Cup," which, I gather, is now a big one at some places.

Why on earth college students need games to get roiling drunk is beyond me anyway, since it seems like most are able to do a pretty thorough job of it without adding a game to an already projectile vomit-producing mix. If you're wondering why I'm talking about this and not the café Zum Schwarz, it's because I think the college drinking game phenomenon is a lot more interesting than a Café I made up for a book set in the fifties. Of note, on the night before my wedding, me and three old college buddies played one final frenetic game of "Zum Schwarz". Ah, the memories….

And now, the rather irreverant but still occasionally accurate glossary to UNDER CLOAK OF DARKNESS:

The Agency of Central Intelligence: Founded in 1947, this is the United States agency charged with international intelligence, and known by the more familiar term, 'CIA' (often referred to simply as "CI" by the Director). In 1955 the director of the agency was Allen Dulles; it had many successes (the overthrow of Guatemala in 1954), but many failures (the Bay of Pigs, and failed assassination attempts on Castro in the early 1960s), and spawned one of the most interesting (and strange) men in government history, James Angleton. Although Allen Dulles was a famous, highly competent man (who left the agency after the Bay of Pigs disaster), the most influential person perhaps ever to serve as Director of CI was none other than George Herbert Walker Bush, ex-President of the United States and father of the current President, the famous (infamous to some) man known as 'Dubya.' Say what you want about Bush the Senior, but the guy had a lot of important jobs listed on his C.V. before becoming President; he was certainly not under-qualified for the position.

Apparite, John: a.k.a. 'Agent E,' the newest 'Superagent' in the Director's unnamed agency; born in 1930, raised in Eckhart Springs, MD. Graduated University of Maryland at College Park 1952; FBI Academy 1954; completed CI espionage-ops training at Camp Peary 1955; officially 'killed' in an automobile accident July 2, 1955. For more, see the 'bio' section.

Agent 'G': Superagent replaced by John Apparite; killed in London in St. James's Park by a traitorous English agent and SMERSH assassin 'Viktor.' Rumored to have assassinated Soviet Premier Josef Stalin in March 1953 via a chemical ingestion--it is said that he infiltrated the Premier's camp when Stalin was on the Russian coast near Finland and poisoned him with an agent similar to the modern anticoagulant Coumadin (back then, it was called 'Bishydroxycoumarin,' or 'Dicoumarol'). A few days later, the Premier suffered a fatal cerebral hemorrhage, though death by assassination was not suspected at the time.

Agent 'J': The Director's liaison; becomes one of Apparite's few friends before his death in London when he takes an 'L' pill to avoid capture and forced interrogation by SMERSH. See the bio section for more.

AMOR: Abbreviation for A MATTER OF REVENGE, the second book about legendary "Superagent" John Apparite. It should be available in September, 2008 (Five Star/Cengage), and is, in the author's opinion, a pretty fair effort (in many ways, he thinks it's superior to the first one). In it, Apparite makes love to a woman (finally--what took him so long?), drinks a couple of sour Berlin wheat beers, kills a few bad guys, burns down a cottage in France, drinks a glass or two of of sour Belgian kriek lambic beer, catches a foul-ball at a baseball game, and fights the Welterweight Champion of the World. Yes, you read that correctly: fights the Welterweight Champion of the World. Now, it's not exactly a fight sanctioned by the New York Boxing Commission, nor in any sort of arena, and there's no referee or purse....but hey, if THAT doesn't make you want to read it, what will?

Angelo, Lou, Petie, and Marco: Mobsters in Dolci's shop killed by Apparite; some are members of the New York mafia, some are D.C. mobsters. All Mafiosi love money, spaghetti puttanesca, capocollo, craps, and horse races--what, you think they'd rather go to the ballet?

Baby Genoa sausages: Small, mildly spiced Italian sausages that are not unlike the thick fingers of the bodyguard who frisks Apparite outside Dolci's shop.

Basilio, Carmen: The 'Canastota Clouter' was one of the most popular and highly-regarded boxers in the glory-days of pugilism, the 1950's, an era when the lower- and middle-weights were about as entertaining as was humanly possible. The welterweight category in particular had terrific fighters--Ray Robinson, Kid Gavilin, Gene Fullmer, Tony de Marco among others--and Basilio became champion of this popular weight class in 1955. Although he unfortunately lost the belt in 1956, he remained a fan-favorite for years (you can still catch his fights on ESPN Classic--I caught one where he lost to Gene Fullmer a few nights ago). He was Apparite's favorite fighter, and the night Basilio won the title was one of the best in his life (he watched it at a tavern in D.C., drinking National Bohemian Beer and cheering with a vocal crowd of warehouse workers). Basilio enters into Apparite's story in the next book, A Matter of Revenge, though only in a tangential way and after he has lost the title.

Beretta 1951: A fine eight-shot Italian pistol with a slightly protruding end, lending itself to use with a silencer. Given to Apparite to 'shoot' his driver in the 'Driver-Test,' it is used as well as by the English MI6 agent/traitor Standerton in London (fictional agent James Bond also used a Beretta for a time before changing to a Walther PPK). The Director always preferred Berettas and Colt pistols since they were non-German made--after his WWII experiences, he did not like to use German products unless necessary (he made an exception in the case of the advanced Zeiss-made binoculars Apparite and J use for surveillance, however).

Browell jr., Herbert: Attorney General under President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Honestly, do you really want to know anything more about him?

Bullard: Name of Apparite's hand to hand combat instructor at the espionage operations course at CI. Disliked John Apparite for unknown reasons, and fought him after his course was completed, suffering a pneumothorax, broken ribs, and a transfer to Alaska as a result of the fight. Something tells me we might not have heard the last of him.

Busby, Jim: Talented outfielder for the Washington Senators in the early 1950's, was traded during the 1955 season to the detriment of the 'Nats,' who were famous for making trades that almost always killed them (Cubs fans can understand this well, as witnessed by the brilliance of trading Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio).

Calabrese, Franco: a.k.a. 'Frankie,' the leader of the Mafia gang that is killed, along with his gang members, in the massacre at Dolci's shop. He was initially in the Costello crime family (which later became the Genoveses) but broke off, along with his boss, Frank Casarano, when the two of them obtained the Hoover photographs. In an effort to regain some of his power after losing the photographs, Casarano called a meeting in 1957--a sort of mini pre-Apalachin Mob summit--to try and involve the other families in a lucrative assassination scheme (this will be elaborated on in the third book, The Hunt For John Apparite).

This 1957 meeting, interestingly, took place at New York City's Park Sheraton Hotel in the suite in which famed gambler Arnold Rothstein (the rumored fixer of the 1919 World Series) was shot, and though Casarano indeed was successful in enlisting the help of some of the other Mob families in his scheme, things did not turn out as planned, with the ambitious Casarano meeting his end in an apparent Mob-dispute later that year.

Returning to Franco Calabrese, one should also note that he is a New York Yankees fan which, in my opinion, give us all another good reason to hate him.

Capocollo: Fine pork product from Italy, often used in sandwiches; pronounced 'gabba-goal.' It is, by the way, very, very tasty, and an essential part of an 'Italian Sub' (or 'Hero' sandwich, depending on where you're from).

Carotid Artery: There are two main arteries supplying the brain on each side of the body: the carotid arteries in the front, and the vertebral arteries in the back. The carotid, however, seems to be the important one for most people when it comes to strokes and bleeding to death. It's easy to forget just how much pressure is in that artery until you see one opened up--and then you will never forget it. The blood, as it did when Franco Calabrese pulled the knife out of his neck, really DOES cascade high into the air--I've seen it happen and it's as jarring as it sounds.

The difference between what happened to Franco (who died) and what happened to young Eddie Humphreys (who lived) is simple: Apparite severed Franco's carotid with his knife thrust, but Viktor did not sever Humphreys'--in fact, Viktor cut only the left external jugular vein and some minor arteries in the neck, so while the unfortunate young man bled like a son of a gun, he did not bleed to death right then and there.

And the funny thing is, is that this is what Viktor wanted. If he cuts too deep then Apparite immediately recognizes the situation as hopeless and doesn't stop to aid the boy. But if he cuts just so, opening up the fairly low-pressure external jugular vein, and the outer portion of the trachea, then Apparite will believe the boy has a chance-if only he'll stop and help him. And though it seemed to Apparite that buckets of blood were coming out, in reality it was only a few units-a little blood goes a long way, visually speaking (just dump 12 oz. of Hawaiian Punch on the floor--it'll seem like a whole friggin' gallon!).

Viktor was a 'right bastard', as the Brits might say, but he wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Chest-Tube: Any breach of the lining surrounding the lung--which is called the pleura, with the space between it and the lung being called the 'pleural space'--can result in lung deflation which, in some circumstances, can be life-threatening (in the case of a 'tension pneumothorax,' when pressure begins to build up in the pleural space, compressing the lung and the vessels leading to the heart, it is definitely life-threatening). In these instances, a tube with a water-lock must be inserted into the pleural space to keep the lung inflated until the breach is healed over. When that has occurred, the chest-tube is removed and a sealing-bandage (usually permeated with petrolatum, i.e. 'petroleum jelly') is used to cover the tube site. Apparite has a chest-tube placed after he is shot in the thorax at Dolci's, though he is, understandably, concerned about J's ability to take care of it (not to worry, though: J knew what he was doing, having only been kidding Apparite about his ignorance of the tube apparatus).

Churchill, Winston (b.1874-d.1965): Absolutely one of the most impressive men who ever lived, I can perhaps best sum-up my love for 'Winnie' with the following list:

1. Churchill grew up privileged (he was born at impressive Blenheim Palace--visit it and see his curly golden locks in a little case!) but joined the Army at age eighteen to make his own way. Spoiled he was not.
2. He daringly escaped from a Boer POW camp in 1899.
3. He has been, at various times in his career, the most beloved and the most-despised man in England; he was more resilient than you can imagine.
4. He looked the wrong way crossing 5th Avenue in New York City in 1931, was hit and severely injured by a car, and spent days and days in the hospital before eventually recovering.
5. He drank whisky throughout the day, rejuvenating himself with naps in the afternoon. Now that is my kind of guy!
6. He won the Nobel Prize for literature. Think about that in light of everything ELSE he did!
7. He was quite an accomplished painter by the end of his life.
8. He wanted a big stone wall around his yard so he up and built it himself. After his retirement. By HIMSELF. Lazy he was not.
9. He wrote and delivered perhaps the most stirring, resonant speeches in time of war in recorded history ('…we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,' etc.) and coined the term the 'Iron Curtain' to boot.
10. He was famous, accomplished, influential, and rich, yet his grave is marked by a simple stone at Bladon churchyard. I've seen it--it doesn't look any different than the others around him. I've posted a picture of it in the photo section, along with a few others from a recent trip to Oxford and London.)
11. There is a category of cigar named after him: a 'Churchill,' which is a very long, impressive-looking stogie. I have never been able to finish one.

Colt M1911: Venerable .45 caliber, seven-shot Colt semi-automatic pistol, it was designed in 1911 and used by United States government and military agencies for decades. A true classic.

Colt .38 Super Automatic: Advanced, nine-shot .38 caliber Colt pistol developed in 1929, and is the weapon most favored by Apparite. Had some design flaws at first, but modifications made by the Clark Company in Texas in the early 1950's made it an excellent weapon and accurate enough to be used in target-pistol competitions.

Costello Crime Family: Name of one of the largest and most important New York mafia families in the 1950's, and run by Frank Costello; oversaw the KGB-ordered 1943 assassination of an American Communist Party leader by mobster Carmine 'The Cigar' Galante for fifty thousand dollars. Later becomes the Genovese family in New York City in the 1960's.

Crotonese: Italian soft cheese, often from the Calabria region in southern Italy; usually sliced for use.

De Soto Firedome: Though it has one of the really ridiculous names in automobile history, the Firedome is one of the Director's 'official' cars (the other one mentioned in UCOD is the Nash Rambler). The Firedome was a big, long-hooded four door sedan with a 160hp engine revving at 4,400 RPM, and had considerable acceleration despite its size. It was not a particularly handsome car, nor was it particularly ugly: it was rather plain which is, I'm guessing, why the Director liked it.

The Nash Rambler was in a more sporting vein--it was a 2 door--though it had only 138hp and revved at 3,800 RPM with a reclining seat option (it is unclear whether the Director's model had reclining seats, though I would suspect not). Both cars functioned well--though the 1952 De Soto had 'seen better days' according to Apparite--and were used reliably by the Director well into the late fifties when, I am told, he switched to Oldsmobiles (though he often rented Hudsons when he could find them).

Dolci: Owner of the Italian meat and grocery shop in which Apparite kills nine mobsters (though he is near-fatally wounded himself). His brother was a capo in the Philadelphia mob until his death; Dolci had been trying to distance himself from his families' mob ties ever since. After the 'Butcher-Shop Massacre,' as the papers called it, he sold the shop (at a significant profit given the $20,000 'bonus' J had left for him in a package of capocollo) and moved to Tuscany. He never visited southern Italy (where he was born) again, having become embittered by the Mafia culture.

The Director (b. 1903-d.?): Enigmatic man who founded and directed the unnamed agency of the 'Superagent' class; clues discovered by Apparite point to the man being a member of the World Series champion 1924 Washington Senators baseball team; admits to being a close friend of famed Senators pitcher Walter Johnson. See the bio section for more.

Dulles, Allen (b.1893-d.1969): Allen Dulles was the most influential of the early directors of the CIA who, with his brother John Foster Dulles (Ike's Secretary of State), anchored the Eisenhower administration's foreign and intelligence policy for many years. Dulles was a religious though stern man, who believed in a strong intelligence service and was not shy in using the power of the CIA to further America's aims (like in Iran and Guatemala). He eventually lost his post in the aftermath of the disastrous Bay of Pigs fiasco in Cuba in 1961, which he had supported, but retained enough influence to have been named to the Warren Commission after John F. Kennedy's assassination in 1963. And though he was one of the most powerful and influential men of his time, his name is now best-remembered as that of the main airport in D.C., "Dulles Airport," though I recall that it is actually named after his brother.

So, as it now stands, the Republicans have Reagan National Airport and Dulles Airport covered, leaving me to wonder what is left to be named after a Democrat--the bus station?

Eckhart Springs, Maryland: Sleepy little town in the western 'panhandle' of Maryland, about ten miles west of Cumberland. Looking on a modern map of Maryland, one finds an 'Eckhart Mines' near Cumberland, but 'Springs' seems to have disappeared entirely.

Eisenhower, Dwight David (b.1890-d.1969): President of the United States, 1953-1961. 'Ike' was a better General than people remember, and a better President than people remember. Without 'Ike,' maybe we don't win the war in Europe; or at least, we don't win it without another 200,000 casualties. Without 'Ike,' maybe the Cold War becomes a Hot War. Without Ike, maybe Communism DOES win.

A quiet, capable, sensible man from Abilene, Kansas, Ike was the President who weathered the early, tough years of the Cold War when the U.S. was at a disadvantage in intelligence and was often bested by their Soviet counterparts. But look at it this way to see how effective Ike was: in 1952, we clearly were losing the intelligence war; in 1962, we clearly were winning it. Eisenhower had a part in that.

The key was in recognizing that the Cold War could not be played with the usual rules of engagement: the Soviets played 'dirty' so WE had to learn to play 'dirty.' This was difficult for Americans, who had prided themselves on their general humanity and sense of fair-play during WWII (there were exceptions, of course: witness the Dresden and Tokyo fire-bombings) and who did not like to bend or break the rules.

It must be said, however, that when we DID break them, we were a lot more successful-the trick being not to let the public know when this occurred. It's a strange thing: the American public kind of WANTS the government and military to do whatever it takes, but they DON'T want to become aware of it! So it's okay to kidnap and torture a man to find out when a bomb might go off, only just don't let anybody know, okay? This sort of policy has persisted to the present day (look at how we are dealing with terrorists, for example) as has the publics' belief to 'do whatever you have to do, only just don't get us involved in it, please.' But I bet if your kid's school was gonna' get blown-up, you'd allow just about anything to be done to stop it--wouldn't you?

Is there a right answer? I honestly don't know--I'm just raising the question, so don't fire off a bunch of irate e-mails about it, okay?

Alright--let's return to Ike. Eisenhower was an ultra-competent type who was a listener more than a talker, but when a decision had to be made it was usually the right one and had been well thought-out (do the words 'The Invasion of Normandy' mean anything to anyone?) And despite his military background, he wasn't a war-monger: he got us out of Korea and he refused to get us involved in the Suez Crisis when much of Europe was already knee-deep in it. My only real criticism of him is that he allowed more nuclear proliferation than perhaps was wise--he admittedly wasn't very far-seeing in that regard. Nevertheless, as a President he was in the top quartile of the best, especially given the international climate of the time. He also smoked like an absolute FIEND--three packs per day at least!

Faulknor, Captain Robert (b.1763-d.1795): Heroic British ship's captain whose memorial in St. Paul's Cathedral inspires Apparite to do his duty, Faulknor commanded the Blanche, an English 32-gun frigate in a memorable battle with the French ship Pique in 1795 off the island of Guadeloupe. Faulknor's ship eventually captured the French frigate in a long, skilled, and bloody action, though at the cost of Faulknor's life when he was shot through the heart during the battle (his death but served to spur his men on to victory). He was only thirty-two years old when he died.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation: The agency in charge of federal investigations within the United States; founded by J. Edgar Hoover, it was the home of the agents known by the legendary moniker 'G-Man,' or the 'Feds,' by criminals and the public alike. They are most famous for investigations of organized crime, kidnappings (which are a Federal offense), and in the killing or capture of 'Most Wanted' criminals such as John Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd. I've always wanted to try on one of those cool dark blue jackets with the yellow "FBI" on the back, by the way.

Hay, Major General Andrew: English Army officer whose memorial in St. Paul's Cathedral is an inspiration to Apparite. I've looked many places for further information on him but all I found was a comment about a portrait made of General Hay's wife (which kind of proves the point that these sorts of men often end up forgotten-even if they have memorials in one of the most famous churches in the world). The other two whom Apparite mentions--Admiral Charles Napier, who served 54 years in the Royal Navy, and Thomas Dundas, who was the 2nd Earl of Zetland and a Member of Parliament--are almost certainly as obscure.

High Noon: Classic Western directed by Fred Zinnemann and starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly, it is probably the best example of a film running in 'real time' on the big screen. Cooper is a town sheriff who knows a gang of murderous criminals is coming, but is unsuccessful in recruiting town members to aid in fighting them. In the end, Grace Kelly ends up shooting one of the bad guys herself (in the posterior flank through a window--not too sporting of her, huh?), saving Cooper's life. As I recall, director John Ford did not care for the theme of the picture, feeling that since Cooper was the sheriff, after all, it was his problem to get rid of the bad guys, and not the town's. As a result, he made the terrific Western The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance to show what Cooper's character should have done, which would have been to have handled them himself (of course, in that picture, it turns out that Jimmy Stewart wasn't actually the one to kill Valance, though I digress).

Nevertheless, High Noon is a great picture with an especially good performance from Cooper, and any fan of the movies should see it. High Noon Viewer's Warning: after seeing this movie, you will never get the theme song out of your head ('Oh don't forsake me now, my Darling…), no matter how much you drink afterward.

Hiss, Alger: American diplomat who, in 1948, was accused of being a spy for the Soviets. He declared his innocence, went through two very public trials, and eventually received a prison-sentence after being found guilty in the second one. People still debate on whether he was guilty or not, but my understanding of the evidence is that the answer is probably: he may not have been the traitor-spy that Dick Nixon portrayed him to be, but he likely did pass on information to the Soviets that he should not have.

Harry Dexter White was another official who had a similar experience at about the same time. White was named by defector-in-place/double-agent Elizabeth Bentley to be an operative for the Soviets, and after much haranguing he eventually dropped dead of a heart attack three days after appearing at the HUAC hearings. And though he, too, was likely not the espionage agent that Ms. Bentley had made him out to be, he probably did let the Soviets in on information that was none of their business, and his heart attack almost certainly spared him a prison sentence.

It was partly as a result of these two sordid affairs that the Director pushed for his unnamed agency--a 'chance to start from scratch,' is how he put it to one person at the time--resulting in the birth of Superagents and the man named John Apparite.

Hoevenaers, Dr. (b.1890-d.?): First name not given, he is the kindly, silver-haired Belgian physician who aids Apparite after the battle at the mews in his safe-house in the Chelsea borough of London. Hoevenaers appears to be a friend and confidante of the Director, having known him for over a decade and, apparently, serving him in some semi-official capacity. He is the man who 'outs' J as a homosexual to Apparite, although with the best of intentions and by accident. More appears on him in the bio section as well as in the next book, A Matter of Revenge.

Hoover, J. Edgar (b.1895-d.1972): Legendary director of the FBI who was there from its beginnings in 1935; an intimidating figure, much loved and despised, and rumored to be a closet-homosexual (and, according to one somewhat unreliable source, perhaps even a transvestite). The FBI was better--and worse--because of him down the years, although without him, it might not exist at all today. Of note, the FBI's associate director, Clyde Tolson, was also single and was with Hoover for decades; went with him everywhere. You may attach whatever significance you wish to that.

Hot Sausage: Homemade, very spicy uncooked sausage sold at Dolci's shop: a home-made specialty of the owner's, as is 'Blood Sausage.' Cooked, sliced up, and put in a marinara sauce, it is very, very good. Drink a Moretti lager beer with it--a terrific combination.

Hypotension: Medical term for 'low blood pressure,' it is usually defined as having a systolic blood pressure (SBP) of less than 90-100, although it is actually the level of consciousness that defines how important the condition is acutely: for example, some people have a SBP of 85 and are perfectly alert-no problem. But when the blood pressure to the brain falls below 50 or so, nearly everyone will lose consciousness at that point--this is a problem.

Two episodes of hypotension appear in the book: Kramer is dangerously hypotensive after he is poisoned, eventually dying from organ failure (too low a BP and your kidneys, liver, and heart, etc. become ischemic and shut-down), and Humphreys is presumably hypotensive after his throat is cut, which naturally slows the rate with which he is bleeding. The difference, perhaps, is that Humphreys' hypotension was reversible with blood transfusions and by stopping the bleeding, whereas Kramer's was continual and progressive, leading inevitably to death.

I. MICHAEL KOONTZ: Author of the John Apparite spy novels, he is a physician practicing in the Midwest; is married to a wonderful woman named Jackie; has two daughters who will hopefully exceed him in height (more on that later); is a big college football fan (a Big Ten University football season ticket holder); an enthusiastic NFL fan (life-long Colts fan, can't even watch Superbowl III highlights without apoplexy, can't watch 2007 AFC Championship Game without wanting to throw big party); a big soccer/football fan (Chelsea and recently LA Galaxy supporter--God, you have to root for Beckham to make it, don't you?); a lover of Titanic lore and miscellania (owns a signed letter on White Star stationary from J. Bruce Ismay); a lover of Indian, Morrocan, Thai, and Turkish cuisine (try one of the SOFRA restaurants in London--a can't-miss); a connoisseur of good beer and occasional brewer of it, too; loves the intense Belgian electronic-industrial musical group FRONT 242; is below-average in height (he's about Apparite-sized--not a coincidence, natch) but is way, way above average in chili-pepper consumption (has eaten whole habaneros); wears unusually cheap clothes from Target and reuses butter containers as "Tupperware" but bought an expensive 1910 Walter Johnson baseball card; drives a 2007 British Racing Green Mini Cooper S with beige leather interior, wood accents, and a checkered-flag sunroof (and let me tell you, it motors, son!); and is now in the midst of a big World War One kick in preparation for his next book project. What's he reading thse days? Just got done with Krakauer's superior INTO THIN AIR, and is awaiting delivery of the first six of Fraser's marvelous "FLASHMAN" books.

Yeah, that's probably enough to get a feel for what I'm like.

Iron City Beer: Still-brewed Pittsburgh beer now going through a new marketing push as they are selling it in cans shaped like bottles--they're an attractive silver color. The beer itself is only fair in my opinion (tastes much like Leinenkugel, a common beer in the Midwest) but the packaging admittedly gets top marks. Apparite hits the bar-tough Cheek Scar in the face with a glass bottle of it, initiating the brawl at Butch's Place.

Isshin-Ryu Karate: Advanced Okinawan karate discipline used by John Apparite. Having been taught basic Ryukyu karate at CI (the name is derived from the Ryukyu Islands, of which Okinawa is the largest), the Director believes that the advanced methods of Isshin-Ryu, as developed by Okinawan Tatsuo Shimabuku in the 1940's and 50's, would best serve Apparite's needs. Apparite's teacher, whom the Superagent nicknames the 'White Oriental,' is unusually expert in the discipline (editor's note: is this a clue as to the mysterious little man's origins?) and Apparite rapidly becomes expert in it.

The two main arms of the discipline are hand fighting (Shimabuku-te) and weapons fighting (kobudo). Isshin-ryu hand-to-hand fighting concentrates on rapid, whip-like motions which conserve energy--for example, direct kicks are preferred to round-house/spinning kicks, and all moves are designed with combat in mind (there are no ritual movements/stances). Punches are 'snapped-off' at the point of contact with a momentary, strong tensing of the body to maximize damage to an opponent and yet not expose the practitioner's defenses (part of the reason why kicks are aimed below the navel, and half- and quarter-thrusts are preferred to full-extension thrusts). The weapons Apparite trains with to learn kobudo are the bo-stick, the sai (short-sword), and nunchuaku (learning the use of the kama and the tonfa was not felt to be needed). His weapons-fighting is focused on using ordinary household objects in a pinch (i.e. a broom becomes a bo-stick; a fireplace poker becomes a sai; two boots connected by a string or a phone on its cord are like nunchuaku, etc).

One interesting component of Isshin-Ryu is the thumb-on-top vertical fist used for punches, which stabilizes the wrist and delivers an unusually powerful blow; Isshin-Ryu is one of the few disciplines that utilize it. Kicks are of short duration and usually aimed at the navel or the legs (Apparite often kicks at the knee--a disabling blow to an opponent when it lands).

The spiritual aspects of Isshin-Ryu center around Sanchin, a series of exercises designed to develop proper breathing meditation techniques and aid in the learning of 'dynamic tension' (which forms the basis of the 'snapping-off' of punches and kicks). When Apparite does his Isshin-Ryu exercises while awaiting a mission, much of his time is spent perfecting Sanchin, although extended sessions of it would prove exhausting for most men.

See Michael Rosenbaum's excellent book, Isshin-Ryu: Okinawa's Complete Karate System for further information on this discipline.

Johnson, Walter P. (b.1887-d.1946): Possibly the greatest pitcher in baseball history, 'The Big Train' won 416 games--remarkable in itself-playing for a team that was often not very good. He was a self-effacing, quiet man from Humboldt, Kansas (and later Idaho) who was universally well-liked and respected, and was always concerned about hitting a batter with his blazing fastball and injuring him. His long career began in 1907 and ended after the 1927 season, 'Barney' playing his entire career with the 'Nats'--one of the rare players to have spent a 20+ year career with a single team (the nickname 'Barney,' by the way, came from his friends in reference to speedy auto-racer Barney Oldfield). Johnson was, by any measure, one of the most beloved athletes and public figures of his era.

Johnson befriended the Director in the early 1920's (having bonded with him on a personal as well as pitcher-catcher level, and despite being over a dozen years older than him), and the two remained close until Walter's death in 1946 from a brain tumor. Johnson was one of the original members selected for the Baseball Hall of Fame--in the company of such greats as Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, and Christy Mathewson--and can claim, perhaps, the single greatest year of pitching in baseball history in 1913: 36-7 record, 12 shutouts, 44 earned runs over 346 innings, and 243 strikeouts (in an era when 'K's' were unusual). It should also be noted that Johnson was an excellent hitter for a pitcher, holding the single season batting average mark for that position (batting .433 in 1925!).

The Walter Johnson tobacco card in Apparite's possession is a 1910-era t206 piece, described by collectors as the 'Hands at Chest' card (as opposed to the 'Portrait' card) and it had a 'Piedmont' tobacco company back. It is a handsome, elegant card (Johnson, in profile, is wearing white against a sky-blue background) and highly sought-after by collectors.

How do I know so much about it? Simple--I have one. I won't disclose whether it has a Walter Johnson autograph on it, however.

Judge, Joseph: Popular Washington Senators first baseman of the twenties who, like Apparite, was somewhat small compared to his colleagues (Judge was only 5-8 and 155 lbs.; rather slight for a first baseman). Judge was a stalwart with the 'Nats' for over fifteen years, hitting over three hundred nine times and, for some time, holding the life-time fielding record for first baseman. After retirement from the Majors, Judge went on to coach the University of Georgetown baseball team for many years. The Director, in honor of his old pal Joe, 'borrowed' Judge's name as a frequent alias for Apparite, though the real Mr. Judge remained unaware of that fact, of course. After Apparite discovers the source of his alias, the only comment the Director makes about the ex-first baseman was that he 'was a good man, even if he swung at too many high fastballs.'

Krav Maga: Hebrew for 'Contact Fighting,' it remains the self-defense and combat method of the State of Israel. It was developed by the legendary Imi Sde-Or (1910-1998) for use by the Israeli Army, in the 1940's and 50's. It is widely taught as a practical self-defense method; rumored, for example, to be the primary defense/combat technique used by U.S. Air Marshals, among other government agencies.

KGB: Famous three-initialed Soviet police/intelligence service (Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti), named as such in 1954 after being called a bunch of other names including MGB, NKVD, KI, and everything but USA. Now officially defunct after the fall/division of the USSR, its records are finally being unsealed, its operatives have begun to talk, and all fans of espionage and spy novels await the full release of its secrets with baited breath.

Of all the acronym-ed names in espionage, KGB sounds very cool; almost as cool as 'SMERSH,' and slightly cooler than 'CIA.' K-G-B. It's an author's dream-word.

Kelly, Grace (b.1929-d.1982): Famed film star whose cover is on the April, 1955 Life magazine that Apparite's driver reads while the Superagent is meeting with the Director, she was, perhaps, the prettiest and most glamorous movie star of her era. From a prominent Philadelphia family, Kelly rose to superstardom playing characters that were the personification of cool elegance, and she quickly became a fan-favorite in such classics as High Noon and Rear Window. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in The Country Girl, although her most famous film remains To Catch a Thief, co-starring Cary Grant and featuring the (rumored) longest kiss in screen history, replete with fireworks over the Riviera in the background.

She retired from films in the mid-1950's to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco (who quashed her chances of restarting her acting career shortly thereafter--she was offered the starring role in Hitchcock's Marnie, but the Prince refused to allow her to take it), becoming that principality's Princess, but was reputed to have led a rather unhappy life after that, eventually dying in a tragic automobile accident in 1982. Of all the film stars of that era, I believe Kelly's looks would translate the best to the present day: if she were currently alive and in her prime, she could still lay claim to being perhaps the most beautiful women in the world.

Khrushchev, Nikita (b.1894-d.1971): Soviet First Secretary who later became Premier, he is one of the political figures who have practically become emblematic of the Cold War, though partly for his rude demonstrations during meetings at the United Nations, and for arguing with V.P. Dick Nixon at a kitchen exhibit in Moscow. Though often portrayed as a hard-liner, Khrushchev was more of a compromising pacifist then people think-he realized the danger and futility of a widespread confrontation as much as we did, though few knew it at the time.

He was never much of a supporter of Stalin, and after coming to power made a famous, supposedly-secret speech denouncing 'Papa Joe' and his prior purgist policies, causing much controversy amongst Soviet leaders at the time. But it worked: former Stalin supporters like Georgii Malenkov soon faded away (into exile for Malenkov), and after weathering a coup attempt by the Politburo in 1957, Khrushchev was able to consolidate his power and govern unopposed.

However, it would not last. Irritated by his legendary temper and some perceived fiascoes (like the Cuban Missile Crisis), many Soviet officials thought he was a disgrace, and Khrushchev eventually was deposed in 1964.

But here's where it gets interesting: You know how beloved American presidents are after they leave office? With the speeches and the Presidential Library in their hometown and all?--well, that's not how they did it in the USSR back in the day. After being deposed, I understand that Khrushchev--the man that weathered the worst part of the Cold War storm for Mother Russia-was placed under house arrest for years and years; hell, I think he might have even died under house arrest.

Some thanks! I bet he didn't even get a gold watch….

K-------, Edwin: John Apparite's father; surname never revealed; lived in Eckhart Springs, MD, and was a traveling insurance salesman. His relationship with his son was a tenuous one since he traveled away from home frequently and was not very successful at his job; the two were, unfortunately, not as close as either would have liked. In order to redeem himself with his family--and with himself-he joins the Army in 1944, meeting an untimely end in the Battle of the Bulge in mid-December 1944. More on him appears in the upcoming book, A Matter of Revenge.

K-------, F----: True name of 'John Apparite,' which is not revealed (actually, I know what it is, but nobody else does at this point). His first name, I should note, is used in A Matter of Revenge, though the last name will remain a mystery--at least, for now.

Kramer, Robert (b.1926-d.1955): MIT-educated American missile-fuel engineer who plans to defect to the Soviets, Kramer fits many of the classic characteristics of someone about to 'turn': He is dissatisfied with his job, his personal relationships are failing (his wife is having an affair), he is drinking heavily, and he wants money and recognition.

How did it all get started? Well, Kramer knew a low-level D.C. mobster who had once mentioned that the KGB had paid Carmine Galante to do a hit in New York, and so he got the idea that he could use the Mob as a go-between in his missile-secret and defection scheme (as a naturally suspicious man, he did not want to deal with the Soviets directly at first). He figured that as long as the Mob was guaranteed a cut, that they would 'go to bat' for him--which they did.

He had cleverly gotten everything arranged just as he had hoped, only to have his scheme disrupted right before it would have come to fruition: first, Superagent John Apparite kills all of his Mob go-betweens, and second, Superagent John Apparite kills him. The best laid plans, eh?

And in case anyone is trying to figure out how he is said to be 28 years old in the book but his birth and death dates above make it look like he died at age 29, here's the answer: his birthday was in December, so he hadn't had it yet in 1955 when he died. So there.

'L' pill: 'Lethal' pill given to each member of the Director's unnamed agency; to be used in the event of capture to avoid betrayal of the program's existence and secrets. Sometimes hidden in objects such as eyeglasses, sometimes sewn into clothing; they are always lethal. When traveling, Superagents had one concealed in the elastic of their socks (a place where it was thought unlikely to be discovered by search), though when in the presence of the enemy it was moved to a more easily accessible location such as in the waist of one's trousers. The pill itself had a special coating making it resistant to decomposition by water or sweat, requiring the user to bite down on it before swallowing. Of course, the poison it contained was untraceable and had no antidote.

Lemon Face, Greasy Hair, Cheek Scar, Bad Moustache, Tobacco Stain, Big Britches and Toothless: These are the seven bar toughs at 'Butch's Place' whom Apparite renders helpless at his 'Final Exam in Ass-Whipping 101,' as he calls it. Shortly afterward, the bartender Lemon Face quit the bar and went back to work for his brother-in-law as a 'gofer' in 'stag films'; the others remained lesser thugs, although Tobacco Stain eventually dies in a bizarre accident involving a toaster, a watermelon, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a goat. The rest I will leave up to the reader's imagination.

Lloyd-Henry, Selwyn: Minister of Foreign Affairs British Prime Minister Anthony Eden. To my knowledge, this is the only person who has ever been named 'Selwyn.'

Addendum: Just ran across another 'Selwyn' yesterday. So that makes two.

Locatelli Romano: An Italian hard cheese from the Locatelli area of Italy; usually grated for use. Cooks always say to grate your own fresh hard cheeses--don't buy them pre-grated in those cardboard containers--especially if they will be eaten fresh. Sound advice! Another food that absolutely has to be fresh is cilantro--never, ever use the dried stuff. Bleah.

Macmillen, Harold (b.1894-d.1986): Secretary of State under British Prime Minister Anthony Eden. Macmillen becomes Prime Minister himself in 1957, his government falling in 1963 after the infamous Profumo Affair destroys the reputations of many in his government.

Malenkov, Georgii (b.1902-d.1988): Soviet politician who, from 1953-1955, briefly served as Premier after Stalin's death, Malenkov was surprisingly (given that he had been a supporter of the ruthless Stalin) somewhat of a pacifist, opposing nuclear proliferation and supporting friendly relations with the West, though this was not always a popular stance among others in the Soviet government at the time. He power-shared with Khrushchev (he being Premier, and Khrushchev being First Secretary) for a time before finally falling into disgrace and being removed from his post, leaving Khrushchev solely in charge. And yet despite his fall from power, Malenkov lived a long, long time, dying at a very advanced age though in exile. Man, I bet he could have told some stories with a little vodka in him.

Maltese, Bruno: a.k.a. 'Bruno Malt,' a gangster in Franco Calabrese's gang, and killed at Dolci's shop. Maltese was a liaison between low-level D.C. gangsters and the bigger bosses in Philadelphia and New York City, although most of the D.C. rackets were run by an independent-contractor named Joseph Nesline.

Maryland, University of (at College Park): One of the largest universities in the United States, the University of Maryland is where John Apparite receives his college degree, majoring in Biology, though learning the Romance languages as well. He was an excellent student and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi honor society before moving on to his FBI training after reaching the minimum age of 23. Back in the fifties, the University of Maryland was known for its excellent football and lacrosse teams (in fact, the football team won the National Championship in 1952), though in 'modern' times it has been the basketball squad that has brought home the most honors, winning the National Championship in 2002 (not that the football team is too shabby, though, as it has consistently been ranked in the top fifteen the past few years). Their nickname is the 'Terrapins'--a kind of turtle--though most people in the area call them the 'Terps.' Famous grads include football player and commentator Boomer Esiason, Muppet-master Jim Henson, and both of my parents (not as famous as the others!).

MI5: MI5 is the division of the British secret services in charge of internal security, with responsibilities not unlike the FBI has in the U.S. The British governmental and public oversight of MI5 is, however, in my opinion substantially less than we have for the FBI in the U.S., giving their agency greater 'rogue' potential (I suspect this plays a role in their dealings with the IRA). Presently, there is a popular British television show about this agency entitled, naturally, MI5, and it can be seen on the cable/satellite station BBC-America. Clive Hitch serves in MI5 as a field agent, although his lack of success within it embitters him over the years.

MI6: Nicknamed the 'Firm,' or the 'Friends' by those within it, its true name is 'SIS,' or 'Secret Intelligence Service,' though MI6 is commonly used by the public and in the press (and in books). Their agents have similar responsibilities to those of the CIA, but are even more secretive than their American counterparts. SIS recently moved to a beautiful new facility south of the Thames in London called Vauxhall Cross.' I bet that if you walk up to the front entrance, they won't let you in. I also bet that they've never heard of a William Standerton, either, so don't ask about him.

Morris Minor automobile: Well-known British car built by the Morris auto company in Oxford, England, it debuted at the Earls Court Auto Show in 1948 and went on to sell over 1.5 million units until its discontinuation in 1970. The model that Agent J drives in London is the Series MM Tourer, which was the first, though not the best, of the Minors built by the Morris Co. (its distinguishing feature was its low-to-the-ground headlamps). It had a 918cc engine and was not the handsomest car ever seen, either, and frankly, Apparite hated it. Apparite mentions quite a few other cars during his wild London Cab drive through London, including a Daimler, a Swallow-Doretti, a Sunbeam Talbot, a Hillman, and a Metropolitan. None of them, however, are as well-known or as remembered as the Minor.

The 'Nats': Short for 'Nationals,' this was the nickname some fans used for the Washington Senators baseball team. Apparite generally called them the 'Nats' in conversation, though the Director occasionally used it as well. Peak use of the term, I understand, was in the fifties, which explains perhaps why Apparite used it more than the Director, who had been a fan of the team since he'd joined it in 1921 (I have some baseball cards from the fifties on which the team is actually called the 'Washington Nationals.'). Note that the present Washington team is officially called the 'Nationals,' though I have not yet seen the nickname 'Nats' used in print or on television (though I expect it will catch on, eventually).

National Bohemian Beer: 'Natty Bo' is the famed beer from the Baltimore area; my father used to tell me tales of drinking it while watching the Colts play in Memorial Stadium in the late fifties. On a college trip to Maryland with my best friend (back in the early eighties) we had a few of them and, at the time, we thought it was actually not too bad, though one should note that we were not known to be terribly picky about our beer at the time.

National Bo's symbol, Mr. Boh, is always drawn with one eye, and on the two pieces of Natty Bo memorabilia I have, the left eye is missing on one and the right is missing on the other, so this varied from time to time. I'm not sure you can still buy it--at least, not the way it used to be--but we're going out to West Virginia next week and I'm going to look for it.

Addendum: Just got back from West Virginny--couldn't find it. Drank Sam Adams instead.

National Security Agency: Secretive U.S. government agency located at a huge, nearly self-sufficient complex in Fort George G, Meade, Maryland, it is a massive intelligence gathering and interpreting service--so much so, I have heard, that it may be monitoring nearly every e-mail on the planet for 'red flags.' I s--t you not. And if you think people don't know much of what the CIA does, it's nothing compared to what we don't know about the NSA. Here's one illuminating tidbit about it: the NSA is virtually exempt from the Freedom of Information Act. It's been said that, at times, it has even tried to deny its own existence. Top that!

Old German Beer: Bohemian-style beer brewed in Cumberland, Maryland; now defunct although it was brewed up through the eighties by the Iron City Brewing Company, I recall. The original Old German brewery was still standing in downtown Cumberland the last time I checked, but has likely been torn down now-too bad; old breweries are usually unique, neat old buildings that make great brew-pubs or converted-upscale apartments.

'On Iowa': the lesser-known, alternate Iowa Fight Song that is, in the author's opinion, superior to the main one. The main one was written by Meredith Wilson, the composer of the musical, The Music Man; 'On Iowa' by another, less famous guy.

Parma Proscuitto: Italian pork product from Parma, Italy; delicious when thinly sliced and wrapped around pieces of cantaloupe. I'd recommend a glass of a Napa Valley Chardonnay to go along with it.

The Queen Elizabeth liner: The Cunard liner Queen Elizabeth was one of the grandest and best luxury liners ever made, although for years its only initial passengers were of the military variety as it served as troop and military transport from its launching in 1940 until 1946.

But when it first began to ferry passengers from New York to Southampton, England, what a trip it was! As posh as any Mayfair hotel, the Elizabeth allowed one to truly 'travel in style,' as Dr. Hoevenaers put it, with even the smallest decorative details being well-attended to.

Passengers could lounge on the Sun Deck, have lunch in the extra-charge Verandah Grill (which also served as an evening dining and dancing venue), or dance in the ship's ballroom, called the 'Salon.' And as with all such ships, there was a 'Smoking Room' for after-dinner lounging, furnished in chestnut woods.

The 1950's were the Golden Age of liners, but with trans-Atlantic plane flights becoming more affordable they soon fell out is service and were sold-some becoming tourist attractions, like the Queen Mary in Long Beach Harbor; others, like the unfortunate Elizabeth, coming to sad ends (she was sold to a Hong Kong interest, suffering a life-ending fire in Hong Kong Harbor.)

Cruising has made a magnificent come-back, but I don't think people travel 'in style' as much as they used to. Someday I plan on taking a luxury liner to England (and flying back-doing what Apparite did, I suppose, only in reverse), but somehow I don't think it'll be quite the same.

Not unless someone poisons me with a diabolical cane-gun, I suppose.

The Reading Room of the British Museum: This is the location for the fateful confrontation between Apparite, Viktor, Standerton, Hitch, and Soviet engineer Nikolai, and is perhaps the most famous library spot in the world. The Reading Room, which was completed in 1857, was originally a part of the huge British Library which, curiously, was located in the exact middle of the British museum, situated in a large courtyard separate from the museum itself. For decades, scholars and famous writers (Oscar Wilde, Graham Greene, W.B. Yeats, George Bernard Shaw, et al) and revolutionaries (Lenin, Leon Trotsky, and Karl Marx) researched and wrote there, though it became harder and harder to get a coveted 'Reader's Ticket' over the years to gain admission.

But all of that changed when the British Library moved to St. Pancras in the late nineties. There was a tremendous renovation of the old, disused British Museum courtyard, and now this massive area is enclosed under a glass roof and the Reading Room restored to its former Nineteenth Century glory.

And walking into it, the sight does take one's breath away: it is a tremendously impressive room, with a dome rising almost 100 feet in the air, and the idea that a murderous meeting between spies might possibly occur in it is one that I find intriguing, if not irresistible. And even today, walking around the room's circumference, one is struck by the quiet, just as Apparite was in 1955. There might be over two dozen tourists in it at any given time--some reading, others walking around--but by God hardly a word is ever spoken above a whisper. It truly is a 'most preternaturally quiet' room, and any visitor to London should experience it.

Ricinus communis: The genus/species Latin name for the Castor plant, which is where the deadly poison Ricin comes from, a by-product from the processing of Castor beans (remember Castor oil?--another lovely by-product of the same plant). Ingested orally nothing bad happens from Ricin, but after injection death is almost inevitable from a series of life-threatening problems including diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, kidney failure, hypotension, stroke, etc.

Its most famous use was in the assassination of Bulgarian dissident Georgii Markov in London in 1978. Injected in the calf with a poison-pellet from an umbrella-gun by a KGB-supplied Bulgarian assassin, Markov died within days--it was only later that a nearly-microscopic pellet was recovered from his calf and the true cause of death became apparent. In retrospect, the investigators identified another case, although in that one the man survived (barely) as the poison did not fully leach out of the pellet. But any way you look at it, it's a pretty horrible way to kill a man: slow, painful, and inevitable.

St. James's Park: One of London's prettiest Royal Parks, it has spectacular views of Westminster at night, and is the location where Agent 'G' is assassinated by William Standerton and 'Viktor.' The Royal Artillery Memorial is at the northeast corner of it, and is ignored by almost all who walk by it-except me. I have the pictures to prove it.

SAMBO: 'Samozaschita bez orujiya,' a deadly KGB and SMERSH combat method still in use by various agencies around the globe, it has even been adapted into a legitimate competitive discipline, with SAMBO-wrestling contests becoming quite popular in Russia. Of all the combat and martial arts methods in the world, the name 'SAMBO,' in my opinion, is absolutely the coolest: 'Combat-SAMBO.' 'Death-SAMBO.' Say them out loud--they just sound cool.

Shadow-agent: One of the more secret of employees of the Director's unnamed agency, the Shadow-agent's job is to remain within two hours automobile travel-time of his assigned Superagent so any breaches in secrecy may be rapidly investigated and sealed, or in case the Superagent disappears or is killed during the course of a mission. Some of the time the Shadow-agent was reassured that everything was fine; some of the time he found a dead Superagent; and, once or twice, the Shadow-agent had to 'clean up the mess'-meaning that he had to kill any persons who might leak the existence of the unnamed agency. A tough job, but there was a good pension plan plus paid-time off, I hear.

SMERSH:'Smert Shpionam' (or 'Death to Spies') was the subdivision of Soviet intelligence charged with counter-espionage and assassination, and was formed in WWII in 1943 as a part of the military intelligence agency GRU. After 1946, its duties were formally transferred to an agency then-called the "Third Protectorate of MGB" (MGB being a KGB precursor), but it is rumored that the term SMERSH remained in use and, as the Director might have told you, was preferred given its name-recognition and 'shock-value' when translated. Its most infamous agent was known as Viktor, who has a final showdown in Berlin with John Apparite in 1956, the result of which I am not prepared to disclose at this time.

Spaghetti alla puttanesca: 'Whore's spaghetti.' a simple but delicious classic marinara-sauced spaghetti dish that is jam-packed with garlic. Beloved by all true Italian mobsters, as is capocollo and "meatballs with gravy." Mobsters love eating puttanesca, and you can interpret that any way you like.

Stalin, Josef (b.1879-d.1953): Soviet dictator who killed, during his bloody purges, more human beings than anyone in history. Stalin was a simple man; a peasant, really, and it has always escaped me as to how a man like him rose to such a position of power, but then again, Hitler was no rocket scientist, either. I suppose ruthlessness and political savvy does not require humanity and brains, for neither Hitler nor Stalin had much of either, as far as I can tell.

Nevertheless, Stalin reigned with an iron fist over the USSR for years, dying under admittedly vague circumstances on March 5th, 1953, leading some experts to believe he was poisoned (it is rumored that Superagent G assassinated the Premier with the anticoagulant Bishydroxycoumarol when the Premier was on a trip to Riga, which is within easy sailing distance of Finland). The post-Stalinist USSR was marked by untold battles for power, with Khrushchev eventually coming out on top, leaving lesser men like Beria (executed) and Malenkov (disgraced) in his wake.

One of Stalin's nicknames was 'Papa Joe,' which sounds way, way too cuddly for one of the most evil men that ever lived-remember, for every ONE person killed in Hitler's 'Holocaust,' Stalin may have killed THREE in his own.

Tokarev TT-33 7.62mm pistol: Soviet-made pistol used by Viktor. Phased-out by the KGB/SMERSH in the early 1950's, Viktor simply liked his and used it even after most of his colleagues had switched to a Makarov or other makes. By mid-1956, however, Viktor had begun using a Makarov, although no explanation has ever been given for the change.

Tottenham Hotspur: This is the name of a famous north London football club with whose fans Apparite discusses the New York Yankees (though he does not realize that Tottenham is the name of their region of London). English football (now called the 'Premier League," or simply the 'Premiership') is a blast: it has become truly a multi-national football league, with players (and coaches) from around the globe.

Oddly, unlike American baseball, league matches were not televised in England until the sixties, hence the reason that the match on the pub T.V. at the Red Lion is an international one, and not a league one. Nowadays they are televised everywhere--personally, I watch them on the Fox Soccer Channel.

My favorite side? I picked Chelsea to follow a few years back when they were only a middle of the division club, but now they are a powerhouse thanks to their mega-rich, free-spending Russian owner and, I gather, one of the less popular clubs in England as a result (probably only exceeded by Manchester United-Man U-whom all but the Mancunians seem to despise). Other clubs that I'd like to see become successful are those with American players, like Brian McBride (Fulham), and Manchester City (Claudia Reyna). Still, Chelsea is my club, and I have the personally-bought-at-Stamford Bridge polo-and t-shirts to prove it. If only they had more English players like Lampard and Terry, then maybe they'd be less unpopular--well, I can always hope. Actually, if they were smart they'd get some Americans like DeMarcus Beasley or Landon Donovan or Eddie Johnson to play for them, and increase their U.S. exposure. But then again, American players (especially the non-goalkeepers) never really get the respect they deserve.

UCOD: Abbreviation for UNDER CLOAK OF DARKNESS (Released July, 2006, Five Star/Gale), the first book about legendary "Superagent" John Apparite. In it, young Apparite (formerly F---- K------- of Eckhart Springs, MD) gets recruited into a mysterious agency by an enigmatic man called the "Director," gets poisoned, shot, and generally abused, flirts with a pretty girl, insults some thugs in a D.C. tavern, kills a few bad guys, visits a kid in the hospital,and carves some initials into a memorial to Artillerymen in central London. Boy, when you say it that way, doesn't it make you wonder how in the world it ever got published? Well, it did, and I even got paid for it. Heck, it even got positive reviews from PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY and BOOKLIST! (and a "Five Roses" rating--the highest recommendation--from the website "LoveRomance.com", despite the fact that there's NO love or romance in the entire book). As they say, there's no accounting for taste...but I hope you'll read and like it all the same.

Washington Senators: Baseball club beloved by Apparite; perennial losers--with a few exceptions--the 'Nats' (short for 'Nationals') generally languished near the bottom of the American League standings. They played in Griffith Stadium, which was of an unusual shape (defined by the streets surrounding it) and had an extremely large outfield. The most famous players in their long history included Walter Johnson, Mickey Vernon, Goose Goslin (one of the all-time-great baseball names), Heinie Manush, Joe Cronin, Clark Griffith (mainly as the owner), Sam Rice, Bucky Harris, Early Wynn, Stan Coveleski, Rick Ferrell, Frank Howard, and Harmon Killebrew. In the 1960's, Ted Williams coached them for a time, doing a decent job given the talent he had available.

They were in three World Series-1924, 1925, and 1933-but won only the '24 Series, beating the New York Giants in seven games. As far as World Series go, it remains one of the greatest in history (although now almost forgotten). In '25 they lost to the Pirates (they could not hold their 3-1 game lead), and in '33 they lost to the Giants, and then that was it--they never got back.

The stability of the team's situation declined after owner Clark Griffith died in 1955, and the original team moved to Minneapolis for the 1961 season. The Washington Senators of 1961 were an expansion franchise that tried to make a go of it, but eventually relocated (again!) to Arlington, Texas (becoming the Rangers) for the 1972 season. The site of old Griffith Stadium, I might note, is now the location of Howard University Hospital.

What did Apparite do when they moved? Well, in a nut-shell (and not giving too much away) after the original Senators moved to Minneapolis, the disillusioned Superagent eventually began following the Baltimore Orioles, as did the Director, and in them they were blessed with a team that turned out to be pretty darned good, as the O's won the World Series in 1966 (a 4-0 sweep of the Dodgers), and again in 1970 over the Reds. Okay, so they lost 1969 to the Mets and again in 1971 and 1979 to the Pirates (unable to hold a 3-1 game lead, much like the '25 Senators), but the O's were always fun to watch, and had the best record in baseball over a 25 year span with perhaps the greatest collection of starting pitchers (four twenty-game winners!) in a single year in baseball history, back in 1971: Jim Palmer, Dave McNally, Mike Cueller, and Pat Dobson. McNally was my favorite as a child (he was a fellow lefty), and I was saddened to learn of his death a couple of years ago. It made me feel very, very old.

But the question I now have is this: Do you think Apparite is going to follow the new team in Washington called the "Nationals"? My bet is no: Griffith Stadium is gone, the Nationals are not in the American League, and Apparite--if he is still living--is probably a season-ticket holder at Camden Yards in Baltimore. Heck, I know I would be if I had been given $5,000,000 in a Swiss Bank account back in the sixties.

And yet they are called the 'Nationals,' just as they were in their early days, and they do have the old sixties/seventies throw-back cap (red cap, white script 'W') so maybe he won't be able to resist it.

Wilson, Charles E.: Secretary of Defense under President Dwight D. Eisenhower, it is doubtful that many persons called him 'Chuck.'

Here's the (growing!) glossary for A MATTER OF REVENGE:

A LA MORT SUBITE: A famed café and tavern in Brussels, it not only has my all-time favorite café name (does it get any better than "To the Sudden Death"?) but also serves one of my favorite beer styles in the world, Kriek Lambic and Framboise Lambic. I cannot state this strongly enough: there is NO ONE in this world that does not like the taste of a good Framboise Lambic beer. Men, women, vino-heads, dweebs, douchebags, wastoids--they all love him, er, it (my apologies to FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF). Regardless, a rather whimsical and deadly episode occurs there at the end of REVENGE which I must admit does, in some ways, remind one of Bilbo Baggins' going-away party at the start of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I didn't intend it to make it that way, but there you have it, all the same.

AGENT "D": British-American liaison to the Director, replacing Agent J. Son of a British WWI war-bride and American dough-boy, D left the British SIS somewhat in disgrace after being--unfairly--implicated in the "Cicero" spy affair in Turkey in late WWII. Demoted, working in the late forties in a dull Whitehall office, he was recruited by the Director to work as the SIS liaison for his new Superagent agency. When J died, D replaced him and becomes one of Apparite's closest friends in the future.

ALEXANDERPLATZ: Famed square in East Berlin, it was a pre-war meeting place for Berliners everywhere. A rendezvous at "Alex" was universal before going out on the town in Berlin, since most of the cultural centers--the Staatsoper, symphony, theaters, cabarets, museums, shops etc--were in that part of the city (it even inspired a novel titled, simply, BERLIN ALEXANDERPLATZ). The division and then the Wall heralded the completion of the decline of "Alex" as a center of Berlin social life, following that of the Unter den Linden and the Potsdamerplatz, both of whom were never the same after the city was divided after WWII.

ALLEN, MEL: Famed "Voice of the hated Yankees" for decades, who also hosted a weekly syndicated national TV baseball show for years, Allen's signature call was to punctuate a great play with the words, "HOW about that?!" He was one of the truly memorable, great radio broadcasters who, along with Red Barber of the Brooklyn Dodgers, Ernie Harwell of the Tigers, Jack Buck of the Cardinals, and Russ Hodges of the Giants, brought baseball to the radio masses in the 40's and 50's. Harry Caray belongs in there, too, though he jumped around so much before settling with the Cubs that I wasn't sure where to put him, unless it was in a bar. I wanted to add Chuck Thompson of my beloved Orioles (and Colts), but I think he came along a little late for inclusion with this group of greats, as did Vin Scully.

ANTIDOTE: To start with, this must be differentiated from the word "anecdote," which is a short tale, often humorous, as opposed to "antidote," which is the treatment to reverse the effects of a poison. In fact, some "anecdotes" seem to require "antidotes" of their own, depending on the teller, but enough on that. The most well-known antidote is probably snake "anti-venom" for the snake bite of a viper, though others exist, such as methylene blue for cyanide poisoning, atropine for any number of chemical exposures, and so on. Ideally, a poison used for assassination purposes would have no antidote, rendering the chance of death near 100%. To my knowledge, there is no antidote to tetrodotoxin, the poison used by Apparite in AMOR. There is also no antidote to the comedy of Robin Williams, deadly in its own right.

ARNOUX, LOUIS: Alias available for Apparite to use if he ever needs to impersonate a Frenchman. Along with a Passport with the aliases' name on it, Apparite was also issued a standard driver's license for that aliases' home nation, a tax-identification card, a military service card, and forged letters and other documents that would bolster the ruse. The name "Arnoux" might be known to followers of Formula One racing by the French Renault driver Rene Arnoux, famous for "blocking" faster drivers in the latter stages of his career whilst racing for the Ligier team.

AUSTRALIAN BLUE-RINGED OCTOPUS: Small sea creature that carries enough poison to kill over two dozen men, used by the Director to create his agency's concentrated and deadly version of "tetrodotoxin" for assassination purposes. Only the size of a chicken's egg(!) this beautifully-colored octopus carries one of the deadliest poisons in nature, shared with divers other creatures, including species of snails, frogs, worms, and puffer fish. Interestingly, it only shows its colors, strikingly pretty blues and yellows, when it is threatened and about to strike. If you are 'Down Under' and see one nearby, get the hell away, ASAP! Then again, you could also get killed by deadly Aussie jellyfish or sea snakes or their famous Great White Sharks, so maybe you'd best stay out of the water altogether. Come to think of it, perhaps there was a reason the British initially sent convicts down there! Australia is home to a bunch of the world's deadliest creatures, not the least among them 'Men at Work.'

BATTLE OF THE BULGE: This was Hitler's last gasp in WWII, a surprise attack in mid-December 1944 in an effort to push up to Antwerp and disrupt the Allis supply lines, divide their armies, and in general stall the Allied advance into Germany. Whilst meeting with initial success, Hitler in essence "burned out" his troop reserve in the offensive and in some ways actually made it easier for the Allies to cross the Rhine and enter Germany when the Bulge ended in early 1945. Of all of the battles of WWII, the Bulge has probably generated the most stories, anecdotes, and films for many reasons: a surprise attack; winter weather including fog, snow, and slop; surrounded Divisions; quotable quotes ("Nuts!"); Gen. George Patton's finest hour; the Malmedy Massacre; and so on.

BATTLE FOR BERLIN: Until the excellent recent German film DOWNFALL came along, this was the greatest battle of WWII that had not yet been turned into film. In some ways, it still hasn't, since DOWNFALL really doesn't look at it from both sides, concentrating mainly on Hitler's bunker. But WHAT a great film this epic battle would make! You've got the Berliners, surviving as best they can but still brewing beer, still operating their opera and orchestra, still delivering milk. You've got the Soviets pushing over the Oder from the East, and the Allies racing--and I literally mean RACING!--through Germany from the West. You've got Hitler's last stand in the bunker, the Berlin Orchestra's symbolic playing of Wagner's tragic GOTTERDAMMERUNG before secretly escaping WITH THEIR INSTRUMENTS after their farewell performance. You've got escaped zoo animals, a ten-thousand artillery piece Soviet barrage before the crossing of the Oder, Patton peeing off a make-shift bridge into the Rhine to motivate his troops, plus the first cautious, curious meeting of American and Soviet troops across a river in Germany. C'mon! How come no one's made THIS movie? What the hell are they waiting for?

BELGIAN "FRITES": The French didn't invent French Fries; in fact, it's the Belgians who perfected the seemingly--deceptively--simple art of slicing potatoes and frying them in oil (English "chips" are almost as legendary). But the best part of Belgian "Frites" are how they are eaten: always with mayonnaise--NOT ketchup! If you have never tried this, you simply must. I swear, they're ten times as good, if not ten times less healthy that way. Add a little malt vinegar and you'll think you're in heaven. Another option that's unusually tasty is tartar sauce--trust me, it's great.

BERGMANN, INGRID: Fresh-faced Swedish beauty of the silver screen, Bergmann's natural grace and pleasant good-looks are what come to mind when Apparite first meets Christiane Grunbach. Bergmann's first hit was in the film GASLIGHT (which was made twice, I recall: once in a foreign language, then soon after in English), though her greatest hit--and one of the best films ever made--is CASABLANCA. She continued to make quality films into her sixties and seventies (she won an Oscar for the vastly over-rated mess that is MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS), eventually dying of cancer at an advanced age. She was one of the most relaxed, naturalistic actors in memory--one NEVER catches her "acting." Her daughter, Isabella Rossellini, is in one of my favorite bizarre films of all-time, BLUE VELVET.

BERLIN WALL: The Wall was raised in the early 1960's over the course of a few years, though the West was caught rather off-guard when the junior version--closed check-points, barricades, etc--suddenly appeared on August 13, 1961. When completed, it was almost 100 miles long, with the East-West Berlin division being about 26 miles in length. Fortified, guarded by apparently moral-lacking lackeys, it is thought that at least 135 persons died attempting to cross over, under, or through the border. In modern times, it is still incomprehensible to me how the Western world allowed this to occur, or how those Germans in power in the East could look themselves in the mirror every morning knowing they supported, essentially, turning an entire city (and then country) into one giant prison. The Wall fell in 1989 after a bungling of East German politicians gave the citizens of East Berlin the idea that, hey, you can just go to a check-point and cross right over any time you want! When tens of thousands of them suddenly appeared at the border on November 9, 1989, it basically sealed the Wall's fate. They crossed, the Vopos refused or were too scared to stop them, and the Wall was history.

BERLINER-WEISSE beer: Wheat beers are a summer treat for hot weather. Tart, bracing, delicious with a slice of lemon, there are great examples from Germany and the U.S. for anyone curious: Ayinger, Hacker-Pschorr, Spaten Franziskaner, and others from Germany; and from the U.S., the hefe-weizen from Wisconsin's Capital Brewing Co. cannot be beat (though Michelob brews a surprisingly tremendous hefe-weizen itself--I'm serious!). But the grand-daddy of them all is Berliner Weisse. Tarter, more bracing, and less-used friendly than the others, Berliner Weisse beers are often tempered by sweeteners in the form of woodruff syrup or raspberry syrup. Rumor has it that during the Wall days, that the East had the superior Weisse beers and the West the superior Pils. All I can say is, well, I'll never know NOW! Anyway, nothing beats a tall, cool glass of wheat beer on a hot summer night.

BRANDENBURG GATE: The symbol of Berlin, the famous victory Gate was unfortunately located RIGHT on the West-East Berlin border, and when the Wall went up, access to the Gate went phhhffft! After WWII, the Soviets even had the temerity to even put a red communist flag on top of it instead of the famous Quadriga statue, since the Gate technically was in their sector and they figured they could do anything they wanted. Now, however, things have been restored the way they should be: Quadriga, public access, and no Wall.

BROOKLYN DODGERS: Honest to God, I can't really remember why this is on my glossary-to-do list. Is it because Apparite mentions the Bobby Thomson home run against Dodger pitcher Ralph Branca? I don't know. All I know is that the Dodgers are NOT in Brooklyn because of the tyrannical city planner for NYC in those days, and not because of Walter O'Malley. O'Malley WANTED to keep them in Brooklyn, but this idiot commissioner would not allow train access to the proposed stadium site. Well, that's all I wanted to say.

C-47 "DAKOTA": To my mind, the C-47 may be the most influential and important aircraft ever made. In peace-time, it was known as the DC-3, and helped bring air passenger service to the masses. In war-time, it functioned as transport for men, as in the D-Day and Market-Garden paratroop drops, or could haul cargo over many leagues of land, like in Burma/India during the war. It was durable, easy to fly, adaptable, and--amazingly--still in use today in some parts of the world.

CAFE FALKE: The "Eagle Café" was named after the symbol of the city of Berlin, and was situated near the Alexanderplatz. Its locale made it popular as a place for rendezvous, as demonstrated by Apparite and Christiane, who used it as such on two separate occasions. The old building had survived much, including the battle of Berlin, but eventually died from "urban renewal" in the nineties after the Wall fell. Sadly, such is the fate of many old pubs and cafes in Europe, but especially so in England, where pubs are dying at an alarming rate. Going out for good drink and conversation, once an essential fabric of one's local society, seems to be dying out for anyone under the age of thirty these days. I guess people are just watching television, instead.

CAFÉ SCHWARZ: The true name of this café was Zum Schwarz, but in the interest of the reader's understanding, it was renamed for purposes of the book. Translated in German as the "Black Café," this was the site of Apparite's final battle with Viktor. Owned by one of the few Jews not to have left Berlin during the war (he hid in the cellar of a trusted friend for the entirety of the conflict), the Café Schwarz served only the best Rhine wines and Berlin-based beers until it closed after the owner's death in the sixties. Today, there's probably a shiny metal and glass office building on the spot.