CONTENT UPDATE! Following this article are the other London articles on ST. PAUL'S CATHEDRAL and LONDON PUBS that previously had their own headings.

"WHEN A MAN IS TIRED OF LONDON HE IS TIRED OF LIFE"

The above quote from the famous Dr. Johnson says it all: London is a place one can visit and revisit and re-revisit and it never becomes dull. It's probably my favorite city on the planet.

Why? For one, shortly after your plane lands you'll experience the greatest transportation system in the world: the London Underground. After passing through immigration and customs at Heathrow Airport, take the thirty-five minute Tube ride to Victoria Station, change trains, and then you'll literally be able to go anywhere in the central city in less than twenty minutes. And it'll cost you about $7--from Heathrow, which is twenty miles away! Amazing. Buy a seven day all-zone pass and you can explore the entire city at will for a week (and for the price of about two Chicago cab rides).

The sights. London has some of the best museums in the world--no lie. Art? There's half a dozen world-class places to go, including the National Gallery, the National Portrait Gallery, the Courtauld Gallery, the Tate Britain, the Tate Modern, and on and on. There's the massive Victoria & Albert museum-seven miles of corridors to wander through there--and if in most museums there's, say, five pieces of renaissance Italian statuary, in the 'V & A' there'll be FIFTY, and all in one room. There's the British Museum (including the Reading Room and elegantly redone courtyard), the Museum of London, the Imperial War Museum, the National Army Museum, the beautiful National History Museum--and they're almost all FREE! Yes, I said FREE! (though entirely voluntary donations are appreciated) It's the best museum bargain anywhere.

There's also the best theater in the world (plays and shows are always top-notch), the best pubs in the world (many are over 300 years old), and the best selection of food in the world--you can literally find cuisine from every nation on earth here (and it's good, too--this myth about 'bad English cooking' is just that: a myth). And its parks--from Hyde Park to St. James's Park to Battersea Park; well, London has some of the best ones you can find.

Just stand on a street corner and look around--hell, doing something as simple as that brings you some very famous sights: the Red London Buses, ubiquitous black London Cabs, Metropolitan Police 'Bobbies,' and even, in this day and age, dour, black-suited men wearing traditional bowlers, swinging canes or umbrellas as they walk briskly down the street.

A large part of London's great charm is that, despite its huge size, it feels unusually intimate. It is a town that is a collection of neighborhoods with short, winding streets and alleys, and surprises around every turn (just wait until you turn the corner and St. Paul's is RIGHT THERE--suddenly towering over you). But be careful: street names change at the end of each block, which can be as confusing as it is charming (don't even THINK about driving in central London). If you need to go anywhere, it's madness to take anything but the Tube.

And yet it's a relaxing city--you can do everything, or you can hang out in a pub and do nothing except chat with the locals. And they will chat with you. Some of the most enjoyable hours I've experienced in London have been spent sipping a pint of bitter in a pub, talking with someone my wife and I just met. It's a shame that so many people go to a big city and yet never really get to know its people--but you never have to worry about that in London. Belly-up to the bar, order a pint of bitter (my favorite brewers are Adnams, Samuel Smiths, and Young's), raise your glass to the person next to you, say 'Cheers!' and the next thing you know, you're knee-deep in conversation with them. Try THAT in Los Angeles--or on second thought, don't: they might shoot you.

ST. PAUL'S CATHEDRAL: THE WONDER OF LONDON

After being destroyed in the Great Fire of 1666, St. Paul's Cathedral was redesigned by the famed Sir Christopher Wren and, like a Phoenix, literally rose from its ashes. The foundation stone was laid in 1675, though it took nearly forty years to complete the massive cathedral (by 1708, when most of it had been erected, Wren was already seventy-six years old--his son put the finishing touches on, actually). But what a structure Sir Christopher had designed and built! To see St. Paul's in person is to see the results of a remarkable human endeavor, especially when one realizes that at the top of its monstrous dome sits a lantern and cross weighing 700 tons. Seven hundred tons--and they were hoisted there in the early 18th Century. It's an awesome thought.

But though the outside is understandably impressive, it was the inside of St. Paul's that really affected me. My thoughts exactly paralleled Apparite's, when he first entered its long nave: What force could have prompted men to have built this place? How could anyone have done this--and so many years ago? And then to walk down the long nave in silence until one is under the dome, craning one's neck to take it all in--it's something I'll never forget.

If you go, make it as early in the day as you can. When we visited it, it was just going on 10 a.m. and very few people were inside it. There was almost no talking from anyone; no noises at all, really, except the soft shuffling of footsteps. I stopped at each of the many memorials in the cathedral and read about the once-great men in whose honor they had been erected: Hay, Faulknor, Kitchener, Picton, and a half-dozen more. When you visit, stop by each and softly read it aloud, then pause after doing so and wonder, for a moment, what each man was like; what London and the world was like when they were living in it. It's a moving, though humbling experience when you realize that the world carries ever onward, ever unstoppably and immutably onward, and that most of these once vitally important men are now, in all likelihood, remembered only by the words etched into these monuments--and also that most people pass them by without a second thought.

On the June day that we were there the cathedral was cool and smelled slightly of must, but this only added to the feeling of its age; of its timelessness-if someone could bottle that scent, I'd buy it in a minute. I descended into the crypt and read the memorials down there, too, and screwed up my courage enough to engage in a nice little conversation with one of the warders 'standing guard' by Wellington's tomb. But even speaking in very low tones, it felt like I was shouting, and after thanking the elderly warder for his time!and a delightful chat, I stayed nearly silent for the rest of my visit.

When my wife and I finally left--after ascending countless steps to take in an eye-opening view of London from St. Paul's top--we walked out into the sunlight of the clear English morning and resumed our sightseeing. But later that night I took out my notebook, read the words on Robert Faulknor's memorial aloud, and found myself wishing that, somehow, I'd gotten to know him when he, too, had walked the earth. St. Paul's just has a way of doing that kind of thing to you.

A LONDON PUB CRAWL: A REASON TO CROSS THE ATLANTIC ALL BY ITSELF

During my travels to London, partly to do research for this book (and others), I went to some unbelievably impressive pubs. Pubs in England, the reader should know, are NOT like American bars: they are open only until 11 pm, they usually serve terrific beer from 'casks' containing active yeast, and they are frequented by locals-the people who either work or live nearby. Even the touristy pubs have locals who stop by--my God, but they're wonderful places. Each day spent in London should be marked by going in at least two pubs: one for lunch or supper, and one for 'afters.'

Here is a list of my favorites:

1. Ye Olde Mitre: Otherwise known as The Best Pub in London. I cannot fully describe its location or visual impact; it's in the middle of a four-foot wide alley (alley is too much, actually--more like a little passageway) and you could easily walk right past it, but don't--by golly, it really is the best pub in all of London. We usually drink in the little room on the right (a scene from the under-rated film SNATCH was filmed there), and what I'm drinking there is always a pint of Adnams Bitter. The manager, "Scotty," is a master of cask ales, which exaplines why the Mitre's are some of the best tasting in all of London. I even had the honor of seeing the cellar, where the casks are kept, and let me tell you, it was impressive. Serving cask ale is as much art as science, in which case the Mitre is The Louvre of pubs.

2. The Lamb and Flag. Much like the 'Red Lion' in the Covent Garden area in which J, Apparite, and Clive Hitch meet, the Lamb and Flag is absolutely ancient (300 years and counting), charming, smoky, crowded, and serves delicious 'Real ale' from casks. It is at the confluence of two narrow, short alleys, but what a delight when you find it! The only drawback is the restroom-squalor is too good a word for the men's facility (didn't go in the ladies', natch--don't want to get arrested, mate!), but the rest of this terrific pub is old, wooden, atmospheric heaven.

3. The Anchor Inn, South Bank. The Anchor Inn is an ancient maze of tiny rooms, and serves a very good, practically gourmet lunch from its main kitchen. Hundreds of years old, it looks, feels, and IS just about as cozy and rustic and it sounds--the beer, of course, is terrific, and cask-conditioned.

4. The Lamb. Just north and east of Russell Square, the Lamb may have my favorite interior of any pub in London. Lots of screens, snugs, wood, mirrors--and the beer is Young's, which is 'top-drawer' by any man's opinion. Very classy; very comfy.

5. The Princess Louise. Just down the street from Holborn Station is this wonderfully Edwardian pub with an over-the-top décor of rich woods, mirrors, and private snugs (it's recently been re-done to its original splendor). It's a pleasure to even take a leak here--the basement bathrooms are tiled and elegant (certainly compared to the Lamb and Flag--see above). I had just about the best pint of Samuel Smith's of my entire life here while my wife and I tried to remember the name of that film with Emma Thompson and Helena Bonham-Carter where the guy is killed by the falling bookcase (even asked two of the regulars--they didn't remember, either). And then it came to me driving down my street a week later: Howard's End!

6. The Plough. An undervalued pub just down the street from the main entrance of the British Museum, this little gem serves wonderful ale and pub lunches-they make a hamburger that you could die for, plus the fish and chips is unbelievably good as well (and with homemade tartar sauce-not that awful stuff in little packets). Never gets its due, what with the famous 'Museum Tavern' up the street, but in my opinion is perhaps the best server of typical 'pub-grub' in the city.

7. The Grenadier. Located in the toney area of Belgravia, your first challenge is to FIND it! Tucked away in a little mews called Wilton Row, this small, old pub has a great history--it used to be the Officer's Mess for the Duke of Wellington's regiment. In fact, they marched off to the Battle of Waterloo from here! It has great cask-conditioned beer, a lovely exterior, very amiable bar-keeps, and nifty polo-style shirts for sale. Hell yeah, I bought one! It's maroon with gold lettering: "The Grenadier, Belgravia," it says. My wife tells me I wear it way, way too often. Well, who cares? I say. When you've sipped a pint of fresh bitter on a sunny June day in such a terrific little pub as The Grenadier, who wouldn't want to remind themselves of it as often as possible? In fact, I'm going upstairs to put it on again right now. I've posted a picture of the pub's exterior in the photo section, for the really curious.

8. The Red Lion, Crown Passage: Not the one referenced in UCOD, this one is in the middle of an alley--tiny, cozy, great beer, it's the place I had my first pint just a couple of hours after we landed. Don't bother with the sandwiches; just sit and have a pint in what is supposed to be the oldest pub in all of London-pre-1666 fire, even.

9. The Sherlock Homes: Previously known as the 'Northumberland Arms,' this pretty little pub off of Trafalgar Square is where Apparite discusses the dreaded and hated New York Yankees with some locals (who are Tottenham Hotspur fans). In a busy part of town it's a breath of fresh air, even if--surprisingly--it's harder to find that you might think from looking at the maps.

10. Last, but not least, is the Blackfriar. I take back what I said about impressive interiors before--this one is the most unique, if not the best. The motif is the life of an admittedly liberal monk, with bas-reliefs littering the walls; walking into this place is like entering another world--and yet, it's a classy one. Only been there over lunchtime, but it left a real impression on me and I can't wait to go back.

There's a lot of other wonderful pubs to visit (the Salisbury, Old Thameside Inn, the George, Cittie of Yorke, The Star, The Admiral Codrington, The Two Chairman, Ye Olde Watling, and more) and maybe I should expand my list to include those as well, but no matter where you go, you will get one thing that's hard to come by in America: a cask-conditioned, real English bitter. Man, I miss them.